Tag Archives: dad

Dads and Daughters

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Summary

Between the day you hold her in your arms on her birth-day and the day you share a dance at her wedding reception, your experiences with your daughter are sure to offer emotional peaks and valleys.  The unique relationships of dads and daughters are a gift to be sure.  How are you handling this “gift?”

Objective

We all want to have beautiful young daughters that blossom into capable and confident young women.  Studies have shown that females grow from winsome little girls into vulnerable adolescents and to competent adults most consistently when there is the stability that a father’s love provides.  Fathers must understand that daughters test boundaries just like sons and dads need to keep emotions in balance and offer tough love at times.  Fathers need to bring consistent behavior demonstrating love, faith, and fairness that a daughter can rely on.  Though there will be times that you will find yourself “talking to the hand” or getting the “quiet treatment” know that daughters go through phases of development and you thankfully have your wife as an invaluable and influential teammate in this nurturing journey.  So it is usually best to hold the volume in check when discussions get heated, understand that sometimes you just have to accept that you are “not cool,” and be the dad that is always there when she needs you, as ultimately she will.  In all likelihood the other man that your daughter will be dancing with at her wedding will have many of the characteristics you possess….and will also be crazy about her! 

Bible Readings

1.       Ephesians 6 : 4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.

2.       Timothy 1 Chapter 4 : 12

Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.

Catechism Readings

1.       Paragraph 2199

The fourth commandment is addressed expressly to children in their relationship to their father and mother, because this relationship is the most universal. It likewise concerns the ties of kinship between members of the extended family. It requires honor, affection, and gratitude toward elders and ancestors. Finally, it extends to the duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, subordinates to leaders, citizens to their country, and to those who administer or govern it.

 

This commandment includes and presupposes the duties of parents, instructors, teachers, leaders, magistrates, those who govern, all who exercise authority over others or over a community of persons.

 

2.       Paragraph 2200

Observing the fourth commandment brings its reward: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the LORD your God gives you.”   Respecting this commandment provides, along with spiritual fruits, temporal fruits of peace and prosperity. Conversely, failure to observe it brings great harm to communities and to individuals.

Small Group Questions

1.       Where are you on the dad and daughter relationship journey?

2.       What actions are you taking to nurture the relationship that you have with your daughter?

3.       If you have a grown daughter, what do you wish you had done differently?

 

Accountability

1.       What are you doing this week to spend time with your daughter?

2.       Have you written your daughter a letter lately?

3.       Tell your daughter ……what it felt like when you broke-up with a girlfriend.

……what attracted you to your wife.

……what your hopes are for her.

 

Recommended Resources

Dealing with …

1.        http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/activities/view.cfm?id=128

2.        http://catholicmom.com/2011/06/11/a-fathers-joy/

3.        http://www.catholicmatch.com/institute/2008/06/fathers-and-daughters-why-dads-need-to-be-heroes/

4.        http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/posts/5446/strong-fathers-strong-daughters-meg-meeker/

5.        http://catholicism.about.com/u/sty/catholicliving/Returning_to_Catholicism/The-Most-Beautiful-Treasure-a-Father-Can-Bestow-Upon-His-Daughter.htm

Author(s)

David Connors / Reid Rooney

What Did My Dad Teach Me?

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Summary

We all have our own personal stories when it comes to words of wisdom we learned from our Dads. This topic will be a shared dialogue as we all contribute those stories that impacted our lives.

Objective

This will be an interactive topic for the group that allows each of us to give pause to reflect on those words of wisdom we garnered from our Fathers. How many of us are turning into our Fathers as we age?….more importantly how many of us are passing off those very same traits to our own children?…..& may not even realize it? Much of what we learn from our Fathers might not have come from a verbal exchange but rather is an inherited trait learned by osmosis such as a strong work ethic. Our objective will be to package the best advice to share among the Fathers that we can pass on to our children. For those of us whose Fathers are still living it’s never too late to seek out some Fatherly advice as we all know life is short…..embrace it!

Bible Readings

1. The Praise of the Father…. Matthew 11: 25-26

25 At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. 26 Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

2. Proverbs 13 :1,24

A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a mocker does not respond to rebukes.

Catechism Readings

1. 2221 The fecundity of conjugal love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children, but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation. “The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute.”29 The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable.30

Small Group Questions

1. Name one teaching example from today’s discussion you would like to pass on to your children this week.

2. Do you have a question you would still like to ask your Dad for today?

Recommended Resources

The Greatest Generation – By Tom Brokaw.

Author(s)

Bob Considine

Included Resources

Dealing with …
http://fatherhood.about.com/od/valuesandspirituality/a/teaching_values.htm

Help them learn to stay with hard things. We have a daughter that excels at the piano. She loves music and was excited about learning to play the piano, and we really didn’t even have to encourage her to practice much when she was learning. But when we saw that potential, we found a teacher who would really push her to achieve. There were certainly times she wanted to give up when she struggled with a particularly hard classical piece. But with our encouragement, she stuck with it and developed her playing to an entirely new level. I know that if we had just said, “Yes, honey, it is so hard. Maybe you could go back to the other teacher,” she would never have felt the joy of really excelling at something tough.

Celebrate right behavior. As fathers, we are often quick to correct and slow to praise our children. So, in teaching values, we should not only correct behavior not in alignment with our values, we must reward behavior that exemplifies fundamental values. So when your child is honest even when it is hard, tell them how proud you are of them. When he or she is courteous or respectful to you or others, let them know it. The old adage that “there is no substitute for a good compliment” is never truer than in child-raising.

Share your stories. Look for times to share your experiences in living your values. Sometimes, without naming names, I have shared stories from my workplace about people who made good or poor ethical decisions and the consequences of those choices. Children, particularly the older ones, appreciate seeing how values apply in the adult world. So share your own stories and those you experience from others and help them see the application of timeless values in life.

Helping children see the value of your values is a role every father should play. Your efforts at shaping the people they become will be worth it. And, as life develops for all of us, whatever our experience, later in life we often find ourselves coming back to the values we learned as children. So take the time to teach and exemplify the values you have chosen for your life and then by word and example, let your children know how to find happiness in life through the application of fundamental human values.