Tag Archives: self

How to get your career unstuck

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Summary

In a rut career-wise? Does it seem like others are getting much more out of their careers…. and you are struggling to find satisfaction in yours? How do you take action to find fulfillment in your work or put a plan in place to make a career change?

Objective

Are you unhappy in your current job? Has the changing economy or a “re-organization” forced you to consider a new career? Whatever your reason for seeking out a new path, it’s a decision that you can’t take lightly. Changing careers can be very stressful on both you and your family, and be very costly. Before you give your two-week notice, take a moment to look at your current situation. Are you really stuck?

Maybe you are way better off than you think. Things always seem to look better on the other side of the street….from a distance. Are there options available to you that you have not investigated? Have you considered that your career dissatisfaction may be coming from a lack of “balance” in your life? Sometimes all we know is that we want a change.

No plan…no road map…no destination.

Take an objective look at your current situation, level of satisfaction, assess your options and put a plan in place to make a change….or not.

Bible Readings

1. Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely;

In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.

2. Isaiah 43: 11-13

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine.

When you pass through the water, I will be with you; in the rivers you shall not drown. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned; the flames shall not consume you.

For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your savior.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 378

The sign of man’s familiarity with God is that God places him in the garden.255 There he lives “to till it and keep it”. Work is not yet a burden, but rather the collaboration of man and woman with God in perfecting the visible creation.

2. Paragraph 901

Hence the laity, dedicated as they are to Christ and anointed by the Holy Spirit, are marvelously called and prepared so that even richer fruits of the Spirit maybe produced in them. For all their works, prayers, and apostolic undertakings, family and married life, daily work, relaxation of mind and body, if they are accomplished in the Spirit – indeed even the hardships of life if patiently born – all these become spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

Small Group Questions

1. Are the career expectations that you had when you started your job being met?

2. Who do you know that made a successful career change or transition?

3. What would cause you make a change? External conditions or internal desire?

Recommended Resources

1. Changing Careers is a Big Decision. Make Sure You Plan Ahead http://financialplan.about.com/od/planningforlifestages/a/ready-for-a-career-change.htm

2. 10 Steps to a Successful Career Change http://jobsearch.about.com/cs/careerresources/a/10steps.htm

3. 3 Ways To Get Unstuck In Your Career – Forbes – Nov 2012 http://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2012/11/30/3-ways-to-get-unstuck-in-your-career/

4. Job Loss Support Group at IHM

http://ihom.org/Serve/HealthMinistrySupport/JobLossSupportGroup.aspx

Accountability

1. What do you like about your career?

2. Are you taking action to at least assess, or better yet, change job and career issues that are dissatisfying for you?

3. Can you be helping someone making a career change?

Author(s)

Reid Rooney

Included Resources

8 Career Change Tips

http://animalcareers.about.com/od/Animals/a/8-Career-Change-Tips.htm

Making the change to a new career can certainly be difficult in a tough economy, but it is far from an impossible task. Here are a few key steps that will prepare you for making a successful transition from one career path to another:

1. Research the career fully by searching the internet and reading books and career guides at your local library. There is a wealth of information available from both the web and the library if you take the time to look for it. Be sure you are familiar with all of the duties that will be required of you in your new career, and be sure that these duties are things that you will enjoy. It is also important to research the salary range that you can expect in the new career so that you can be sure you will be able to meet your current financial obligations (mortgage, car payment, and other bills). If a pay cut is involved it might be a good time to review your budget.

2. Connect with a professional who has the type of job you are intending to pursue. This could be someone you know personally, someone you are referred to by a friend, or someone recommended to you by your college alumni association or a professional group. Prepare a list of questions to ask and see if it would be possible to shadow them for a day while they complete their duties. An up close and personal view of the job’s responsibilities can be invaluable, so if this is possible be sure to take advantage of the opportunity.

3. Identify transferable skills that you will be able to use in your new position. Making a list of skills that you have developed on your current job or through participation in sports and hobbies is a good starting point. There is also a site on the U.S. Department of Labor website, known as O*Net, that lists skills necessary for success in over 25,000 career paths. This is another great place to look for specific qualities that may deserve some emphasis on your resume.

4. Seek additional training or education if it will improve your chances of making a successful career change. There are many colleges, universities, and trade schools that offer night or weekend classes designed for adult students who have full time jobs. Even if you just take a semester-long professional training course it will show that you have current knowledge of the field. You can also highlight this additional education on your resume.

5. Volunteer in positions related to your intended career. While you probably can’t commit to a full time internship while also holding down a full time job, you can often find weekend or evening activities that will help you add skills that will enhance your resume. It is especially true in the animal industry that there is no substitute for having practical hands on experience. If you don’t have experience working with a particular type of animal (and it will factor into your new position) be sure to tailor your volunteering or internship experiences to correct that lack of experience.

6. Utilize social media networking to expand your job search through person to person contacts and referrals. It is always easier to get your foot in the door when someone puts in a good word for you. Networking through social media sites such as LinkedIn can put you in contact with the professional contacts of your friends and business connections. The wider you cast your net in a career search, especially when changing careers, the better.

7. Prepare a resume that highlights your transferable skills and the strengths that you developed in your previous career. Using the functional resume format will highlight the skills that you have developed in your other positions. The functional resume lists each major skill as a heading and then lists a few achievements related to the skill. This style minimizes any work experience that doesn’t enhance your job prospects in the new field while maximizing exposure for skills and abilities gained through volunteer work, internships, or other non-work activities.

8. Be persistent and keep trying to make the change, even if it takes a while to find the right employer that is willing to give you a chance. In the current job market there are many applicants for each available position, and employers may have quite a few qualified candidates to select from. Networking, preparing a great resume, gaining additional training, and volunteering should help career changers enhance their job prospects.

Battling Addictions – Does God want to help you?

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Summary

You’re making progress, you slip, you feel bad about slipping – so you fall farther. You start thinking, “What’s the use after what I’ve done?” You give up and you maybe even end up worse off than when you began. That’s not just a blueprint for dieting disaster. It’s a blueprint for spiritual disaster.

I call it the Cycle of Shame. It’s one of the devil’s favorite tools for pulling a follower of Jesus down and keeping them down. You could be trapped in that Cycle of Shame even now. Or you’ve been there and you don’t want to go back there. You may have fallen, but you can get up!

Satan succeeds in keeping you down with that “what’s the use?” lie when you make a big mistake. You focus on you instead of the One who died so you could be free. The Bible doesn’t say, “The righteous man never falls.” It says in Proverbs, “Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again” (Proverbs 24:16 ). You don’t let one sin turn into a hundred sins. You get up right away and you pick up where you left off growing in Christ. You bring your sin and you bring your failure to Jesus.

Satan keeps pointing to your past because, well, it can’t be changed. Jesus keeps pointing to your future because it’s yet to be written. Yes, you went down, but you don’t have to stay down! Jesus stands ready this very minute to pick you up, dust you off, bandage your wounds, and help you start running for Him again; forgiven, restored, and stronger than you have ever been before.

http://www.hutchcraft.com/a-word-with-you/your-hard-times/when-you-ve-fallen-and-you-can-t-get-up-5992

Objective:

Provide real life examples of how God can help you battle your addictions. How God can help you find a sense of being loved. We have the will, we do not have the power. God is the Power if we ask him.

Bible Readings

1. Matthew ,7, 7-11

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 9Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, 10 or a snake when he asks for a fish? 11 If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him

2. Psalm 142

With my own voice I cry to the LORD; with my own voice I beseech the LORD. 3 Before him I pour out my complaint, tell of my distress in front of him. 4 When my spirit is faint within me, you know my path. As I go along this path, they have hidden a trap for me. 5 I look to my right hand to see that there is no one willing to acknowledge me. My escape has perished; no one cares for me. 6 I cry out to you, LORD, I say, You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living. 7Listen to my cry for help, for I am brought very low. Rescue me from my pursuers, for they are too strong for me. 8Lead my soul from prison, that I may give thanks to your name. Then the righteous shall gather around me because you have been good to me.

Catechism Readings

1. 220-221

“God’s love is “everlasting”: “For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you.” Through Jeremiah, God declares to his people, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

But St. John goes even further when he affirms that “God is love”: God’s very being is love. By sending his only Son and the Spirit of Love in the fullness of time, God has revealed his innermost secret: God himself is an eternal exchange of love, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and he has destined us to share in that exchange

Small Group Questions

1. Do you think that you need structure and discipline to start/continue your recovery? Why, or why not? What happens to children when they are not disciplined?

2. Do you get discouraged when you are no longer in control? How does the exercise of self-control give you staying power when you are in tough situations such as temptations or trials?

3. What can you do or have done to resist the influences of desires, bad traditions, and sin so you can become more responsible in your faith, serve and please God, strive for moral purity, and benefit others?

4. Our Lord Jesus Christ is the Lamb, the only effective and ultimate sacrifice for our sins. What does this mean to you? How can you reach out, grab His hand, and respond?

Recommended Resources

http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201106/battling-addiction/blinded-biochemistry – Article that helps explain addictions. Summary quote comes from here.

http://www.discipleshiptools.org/apps/articles/default.asp?articleid=43689&columnid=4188

Accountability

Ask for help from God, a friend your wife, your priest. Ask for forgiveness for past transgressions and look forward. Small Group members are a good place to start, but you have to ask for help.

Mentor – Do you have one? Do you need one?

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Summary

Mentor – are they only for new employees? Have you ever wondered if you need a mentor? Or how you would go about getting one? Have you considered having a Board of Directors for you?

Objective

· Have you ever wondered how some people seem to have it all together – or anticipate things well? Do you ever wish for a person or persons that you can bounce ideas off, to get advice, or be someone who can listen to you?

· Mentorship is a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. However, true mentoring is more than just answering occasional questions or providing ad hoc help. It is about an ongoing relationship of learning, dialog, and challenge.

· “Mentoring” is a process that always involves communication and is relationship based, but its precise definition is elusive. One definition of the many that have been proposed, is

· Mentoring is a process for the informal transmission of knowledge, social capital, and the psychosocial support perceived by the recipient as relevant to work, career, or professional development; mentoring entails informal communication, usually face-to-face and during a sustained period of time, between a person who is perceived to have greater relevant knowledge, wisdom, or experience and a person who is perceived to have less. Mentoring in Europe has existed since at least Ancient Greek times. Since the 1970s it has spread in the United States of America mainly in training context and it has been described as “an innovation in American management”.

· Companies have mission statements and a Board of Directors. Your life is pretty important. Why not create a Life Board of Directors to help you through it? Pick 2 to 5 of your friends. Not necessarily your closest friends, but friends that are close enough where you can really confide but not so close that they can’t see the big picture. Email them one a month, once a quarter or “once a crisis.”

· Assemble “Team You” and use your team to brainstorm directions and implementations of big decisions like moving to New York, or changing your business’s direction, starting a new venture, or getting fit.

· Use your personal Board of Directors as one of the compasses in your life. You’ve got family, friends, perhaps faith, hobbies, values, etc. Add your Team to this list of personal compasses.

· In this discussion we encourage individuals who have had experience as a mentor – or if you’ve had a mentor to talk about the benefits you have received from the experience.

· We also want to discuss how to go about getting a mentor or being a mentor for those who are interested.

Some ideas:

Pick the right mentor.

First step is identifying someone who can be a good mentor for you. A mentor should be someone you respect and someone who’s respected by others.

Remember that mentoring can take many forms.

That relationship certainly can take the form of an ongoing one-on-one connection, but you can also have what she calls “mentoring episodes” — briefer interactions where you still learn something valuable.

Ask for advice.

Asking someone to be your mentor is tough. Instead, if there’s someone whose brain you really want to pick, or whom you’d like to develop a closer working relationship with, think of some specific things you want their advice on. Then ask them to get lunch or coffee with you to talk about them.

Set some guidelines beforehand.

When you’re entering into a mentoring relationship with someone, you should have a talk with them — not just about what you want to learn, but about how you want the relationship to go. Talk about confidentiality — will what you say to your mentor stay between the two of you, or will she or he be sharing it with other people? Discuss how you’ll handle any disagreements or problems that might come up. And make an agreement that if at any point the mentoring relationship ends, you’ll make sure to have a “good closure conversation” that allows you both to express appreciation, talk about what you learned, and move on.

Check in frequently.

Schedule regular check-ins to make sure everything in the relationship is going smoothly. Touch base with each other about whether you’re both getting your needs met — are you getting the advice you need? Are you being respectful enough of your mentee’s time?

With personal conversations, let the mentor set the tone.

Especially if you’re friendly with your mentor, you may be tempted to talk about your personal life with him or her, and even to ask advice about personal matters. Depending on your relationship, this could be totally fine — after all, Ragins points out, a mentor can also be a friend. But she advocates that you “let the mentor lead the way with respect to disclosure.”

Keep in touch if you switch jobs.

Remember that even if you leave your job, “no one’s going to make you give your mentor back.” If your mentor was a coworker, you might not see each other or talk as much as you once did. But you can still keep in touch by email and at networking events in your field, and you can still benefit from your mentor’s expertise. Consider than having one mentor at any given time, you should seek out multiple mentors, a “constellation of relationships” that give you the work wisdom you need.

Bible Readings

1. Ephesians – Chapter 6

And parents, never drive your children to resentment but bring them up with correction and advice inspired by the Lord.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2230

When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse. This necessary restraint does not prevent them—quite the contrary—from giving their children judicious advice, particularly when they are planning to start a family. (1625)

Small Group Questions

1. Is there someone in your small group that has experienced a good mentoring relationship?

2. Can they talk about it?

3. Do you have a mentor?

4. Do you want one?

5. Father’s team members can be great potential mentors? Ask someone !

Recommended Resources

1. Your BOD – http://www.hanselman.com/blog/WhoIsOnYourLifesBoardOfDirectors.aspx

2. Mentor – how to get and maintain – http://jezebel.com/5864193/how-to-get-and-keep-a-mentor

Accountability

1. Considering being a mentor or getting one!

Author(s)

Rich DelCore

Servant Leadership

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Summary

Servant leadership is a leadership style that puts others first. Jesus was the greatest example of a servant leader. You do not have to be an official leader to be a servant leader. Learn more about this way of leading through service and how it can affect your professional and personal life.

Objective

The term “servant leadership” was first coined by Robert Greenleaf in the 1970s. There are many versions of what this term means, but in general it is the idea that one can inspire people to do their best by deeply caring about them. If a leader serves others, then a relationship of trust and collaboration develops where the individuals of the group are looking out for each other, where they are empowered to exercise their skills and creativity to their potential, and where the leader’s greatest success is not personal achievement but the growth and advancement of the individuals in the group.

For Christians, Jesus is the ultimate example of the servant leader. He showed compassion to sinners while still instructing them in the truth. He was not intimidated by powerful people, and he sought out the weak and marginalized. The early Christian community saw Jesus as the fulfillment of Isaiah’s “Suffering Servant” (Isaiah 42:1-4, 49:1-6, 50:4-9, 52:13-53:12), indicating that this kind of leadership involves a willingness to suffer for others, but knowing that such suffering can obtain a higher goal. However, servant leadership is not reserved only for Jesus or even people in management roles in the business world. Servant leadership is a way of interacting with others, regardless of official titles, and seeking the good of others for their own sake and for God’s.

Bible Readings

1. Matthew 20:28

But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

2. John 13:5-10, 12-15

Then he poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which he was girded. He came to Simon Peter; and Peter said him, “Lord, do wash my feet?” Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not know now, but afterward you will understand.” Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part in me.” Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!”

When he had washed their feet, and taken his garments, and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord; and you are right for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 580

In Jesus, the Law no longer appears engraved on tables of stone but “upon the heart” of the Servant who becomes “a covenant to the people,” because he will “faithfully bring forth justice.”

2. Paragraph 608

Christ’s whole life expresses his mission: “to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Small Group Questions

1. Think of a story about Jesus where you think that he is shown as a servant leader. What quality of servant leadership stands out for you? How did others feel about the approach Jesus took?

2. Do you consider yourself a leader, regardless of whatever official roles you may have? How can you apply some principles of servant leadership at work or at home?

3. Sometimes people think that servant leadership is a weak way to lead. St. Paul said that “the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Corinthians 1:18). Later he told the Corinthians that the Lord told him in prayer that “my power is made perfect in weakness,” causing Paul to conclude: “when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9, 10). What does Paul mean, and how can it apply to our lives?

Recommended Resources

1. Seven Pillars of Servant Leadership: http://www.slideshare.net/sevenpillarsofservantleadership/seven-pillars-of-servant-leadership-leaderserve-model

2. Dateline NBC on Servant Leadership (video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDVDXPo0ytM

3. Servant Leadership at all levels: http://www.peterson.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123288594

4. Servant Leadership Liturgy of the Word: http://www.ourlanguageourstory.org/staff_development/prayer_services/ServantLeadership.pdf

Accountability

1. This week focus on one aspect of servant leadership and apply it in your professional or personal life.

2. Spiritual leadership in the family is an important role for a parent. One day this week consciously be a spiritual leader to your family. Some possible things you could do are: lead your family in prayer, lead them in a discussion of a spiritual matter, teach your children something about the Catholic faith, or read the Gospel for the coming Sunday prior to going to mass and/or discuss it after mass.

3. In the coming week take some time to think about who you have known in your life whom you would describe as a servant leader. Identify what was most appealing about that person’s approach, and take to prayer how you can apply that aspect to your life and your interaction with others.

Author(s)

Pete Caccavari

Included Resources

“The Servant as Leader” by Robert K. Greenleaf, p. 2

The idea of The Servant as Leader came out of reading Hermann Hesse’s Journey to the East. In this story we see a band of men on a mythical journey, probably also Hesse’s own journey. The central figure of the story is Leo who accompanies the party as the servant who does their menial chores, but who also sustains them with his spirit and his song. He is a person of extraordinary presence. All goes well until Leo disappears. Then the group falls into disarray and the journey is abandoned. They cannot make it without the servant Leo. The narrator, one of the party, after some years of wandering finds Leo and is taken into the Order that had sponsored the journey. There he discovers that Leo, whom he had known first as servant, was in fact the titular head of the Order, its guiding spirit, a great and noble leader.

Rebuilt: Awakening the Faithful, Reaching the Lost, Making Church Matter by Michael White and Tom Corcoran, p. 245.

We say someone is “full of himself” when we’re talking about pride. To explain the opposite of that, Paul says Jesus “emptied himself” and poured out his whole life. He took all his rights—the right to be worshiped, the right to rule, the right to the perfection of heaven—and gave it all up. He emptied himself to become not just a servant but a slave. Paul goes on to describe his life that way, too, “poured out as a libation” (Philippians 2:17).

That’s servant leadership. Pouring out selfishness and pride in order to have the capacity to receive the wisdom, knowledge, understanding, right judgment, and all the other gifts the Holy Spirit offers. And then, it is about emptying even these gifts into the lives of those you serve. Andy Stanley talks about mentoring his staff as emptying his cup into their cups.

The Servant: A Simple Story about the True Essence of Leadership by James C. Hunter, p. 65

“I’m sorry, Greg,” the teacher began, “I guess I have not made it very clear about what it means to be the servant. I said that leaders should identify and meet the needs of their people, serve them. I did not say that they should identify and meet the wants of their people, be slaves to them. Slaves do what others want, servants do what others need. There is a world of difference between meeting wants and meeting needs.”

Live for a Bigger Purpose – It should exist for God

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Summary

Do you have a bigger purpose for your life? Life is better when you have a purpose that goes beyond your own material needs. Living for a higher purpose goes beyond a relationship or a career. It is a reason to be passionate about life, a reason to get up in the morning. It is something to contribute to the world and something that gives you immense satisfaction. It is the kind of thing you want to be remembered for when you die. This does not have to be something massive or earth changing or even particularly charitable. It just has to be something that you are living for beyond your immediate circumstances.

Objective

Anybody can live for a greater cause. We are all great in our own way. It makes you passionate and inspiring. It makes you interesting. Most of all it makes life more fun and worth living. Living a purpose driven and goal driven life is more exciting that sleep walking through life. You can shape the direction and shape the purpose rather than living on someone else’s whim.

How do you discover your real purpose? I’m not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you’re here at all — the very reason you exist. If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you’ve been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).

So how to discover your purpose in life?

While there are many ways to do this, some of them fairly involved, here is one of the simplest that anyone can do. The more open you are to this process and the more you expect it to work, the faster it will work for you. But not being open to it or having doubts about it or thinking it’s an entirely idiotic and meaningless waste of time won’t prevent it from working as long as you stick with it — again, it will just take longer to converge.

Here’s what to do:

1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type.

2. Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”

3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.

4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.

For those who are very entrenched in low-awareness living, it will take a lot longer to get all the false answers out, possibly more than an hour. But if you persist, after 100 or 200 or maybe even 500 answers, you’ll be struck by the answer that causes you to surge with emotion, the answer that breaks you. If you’ve never done this, it may very well sound silly to you. So let it seem silly, and do it anyway.

At some point during the process (typically after about 50-100 answers), you may want to quit and just can’t see it converging. You may feel the urge to get up and make an excuse to do something else. That’s normal. Push past this resistance, and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will eventually pass.

When the author did this exercise, it took about 25 minutes; and reached his final answer at step 106. Partial pieces of the answer (mini-surges) appeared at steps 17, 39, and 53, and then the bulk of it fell into place and was refined through steps 100-106. I felt the feeling of resistance (wanting to get up and do something else, expecting the process to fail, feeling very impatient and even irritated) around steps 55-60. At step 80 I took a 2-minute break to close my eyes, relax, clear my mind, and to focus on the intention for the answer to come to me — this was helpful as the answers I received after this break began to have greater clarity. Here was the author’s final answer: to live consciously and courageously, to resonate with love and compassion, to awaken the great spirits within others, and to leave this world in peace.

One alternative thought associated with purpose was even simpler:

In response to the question, What should I do with my life? There might be only one thing you can do with it, since you came into this life with nothing and you’ll leave with nothing: You can give it away. You’ll feel most on purpose when you’re giving your life away by serving others. When you’re giving to others, to your planet, and to your God, you’re being purposeful. Whatever it is that you choose to do, if you’re motivated to be of service to others while being authentically detached from the outcome, you’ll feel on purpose, regardless of how much abundance flows back to you.

Bible Readings

1. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

2. Matthew 6:25-33

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?  “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Catechism Readings

3. Paragraph 303

The witness of Scripture is unanimous that the solicitude of divine providence is concrete and immediate; God cares for all, from the least things to the great events of the world and its history. The sacred books powerfully affirm God’s absolute sovereignty over the course of events: “Our God is in the heavens; he does whatever he pleases.”162 And so it is with Christ, “who opens and no one shall shut, who shuts and no one opens.”163 As the book of Proverbs states: “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will be established.”164

Small Group Questions

1. Have you thought about your ‘Bigger Purpose’ in life?

2. Where does God and the Church fit into your Purpose?

3. Have you talked about this with your wife?

4. How are you being ‘of service’ to others?

Recommended Resources

1. How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/01/how-to-discover-your-life-purpose-in-about-20-minutes/

2. Live For A Purpose Bigger Than Yourself
http://www.thechangeblog.com/live-for-a-purpose-bigger-than-yourself/

3. 5 Steps That Reveal Your Life’s Purpose
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/douglas-labier/life-purpose_b_1830154.html

4. How to find your life’s purpose
http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Your-Life’s-Purpose

Accountability

1. Can you consider doing this purpose exercise this week?

2. Can you partner up with a member of your small group to share the results of the exercise?

Author

Rich DelCore Aug – 2013

Mentor – Do you have one? Do you need one?

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Summary

Mentor – are they only for new employees? Have you ever wondered if you need a mentor? Or how you would go about getting one? Have you considered having a Board of Directors for you?

Objective

  • Have you ever wondered how some people seem to have it all together – or anticipate things well? Do you ever wish for a person or persons that you can bounce ideas off, to get advice, or to just be someone who can listen to you?
  • Mentorship is a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. However, true mentoring is more than just answering occasional questions or providing ad hoc help. It is about an ongoing relationship of learning, dialog, and challenge.
  • “Mentoring” is a process that always involves communication and is relationship based, but its precise definition is elusive. One definition of the many that have been proposed, is
  • Mentoring is a process for the informal transmission of knowledge, social capital, and the psychosocial support perceived by the recipient as relevant to work, career, or professional development; mentoring entails informal communication, usually face-to-face and during a sustained period of time, between a person who is perceived to have greater relevant knowledge, wisdom, or experience and a person who is perceived to have less (the protégé)”.
  • Mentoring in Europe has existed since at least Ancient Greek times. Since the 1970s it has spread in the United States of America mainly in training context and it has been described as “an innovation in American management”.
  • Companies have mission statements and a Board of Directors. Your life is pretty important. Why not create a Life Board of Directors to help you through it? Pick 2 to 5 of your friends. Not necessarily your closest friends, but friends that are close enough where you can really confide but not so close that they can’t see the big picture. Email them one a month, once a quarter or “once a crisis.” Ask them for advice, lean on them, trust them.
  • Assemble “Team You” and use your team to brainstorm directions and implementations of big decisions like moving to New York, or changing your business’s direction, starting a new venture, or getting fit.
  • Use your personal Board of Directors as one of the compasses in your life. You’ve got family, friends, perhaps faith, hobbies, values, etc. Add your Team to this list of personal compasses.
  • In this discussion we encourage individuals who have had experience as a mentor – or if you’ve had a mentor to talk about the benefits you have received from the experience.
  • We also want to discuss how to go about getting a mentor or being a mentor for those who are interested.

Some ideas:

Pick the right mentor.

First step is identifying someone who can be a good mentor for you. She points out that your mentor should be someone you respect and someone who’s respected by others.

Remember that mentoring can take many forms.

That relationship certainly can take the form of an ongoing one-on-one connection, but you can also have what she calls “mentoring episodes” — briefer interactions where you still learn something valuable.

Ask for advice.

Asking someone to be your mentor is tough. Instead, if there’s someone whose brain you really want to pick, or whom you’d like to develop a closer working relationship with, think of some specific things you want their advice on. Then ask them to get lunch or coffee with you to talk about them.

Set some guidelines beforehand.

Zachary suggests that when you’re entering into a mentoring relationship with someone, you should have a talk with them — not just about what you want to learn, but about how you want the relationship to go. Talk about confidentiality — will what you say to your mentor stay between the two of you, or will she or he be sharing it with other people? Discuss how you’ll handle any disagreements or problems that might come up. And make an agreement that if at any point the mentoring relationship ends, you’ll make sure to have a “good closure conversation” that allows you both to express appreciation, talk about what you learned, and move on.

Check in frequently.

Zachary also advocates regular check-ins to make sure everything in the relationship is going smoothly. Touch base with each other about whether you’re both getting your needs met — are you getting the advice you need? Are you being respectful enough of your mentee’s time

With personal conversations, let the mentor set the tone.

Especially if you’re friendly with your mentor, you may be tempted to talk about your personal life with him or her, and even to ask advice about personal matters. Depending on your relationship, this could be totally fine — after all, Ragins points out, a mentor can also be a friend. But she advocates that you “let the mentor lead the way with respect to disclosure.”

Keep in touch if you switch jobs.

Ragins notes that even if you leave your job, “no one’s going to make you give your mentor back.” If your mentor was a coworker, you might not see each other or talk as much as you once did. But you can still keep in touch by email and at networking events in your field, and you can still benefit from your mentor’s expertise. Ragins recommends that rather than having one mentor at any given time, you should seek out multiple mentors, a “constellation of relationships” that give you the work wisdom you need.

Bible Readings

1. Ephesians – Chapter 6

And parents, never drive your children to resentment but bring them up with correction and advice inspired by the Lord.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2230

When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse. This necessary restraint does not prevent them—quite the contrary—from giving their children judicious advice, particularly when they are planning to start a family. (1625)

Small Group Questions

  1. Do you have a mentor?
  2. Do you want one?
  3. Do you see the value in a mentor relationship?

Recommended Resources

  1. Your BOD – http://www.hanselman.com/blog/WhoIsOnYourLifesBoardOfDirectors.aspx
  2. Mentor – how to get and maintain – http://jezebel.com/5864193/how-to-get-and-keep-a-mentor

Accountability

1. Considering being a mentor or getting one!

Author(s)

Rich DelCore

How to be Happy in Life

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Summary

God wants us to be happy.

Objective

While researching this subject it became clear that true happiness comes from the continued study of the word of God. By studying the bible, reading it daily, discussing it openly with Christian brothers and putting his word into action, we can move closer to the abundant and happy life that Christ wants to give us.

The Greek word translated “blessed” means “blissfully happy”. The Lord Jesus promises that real, lasting happiness, along with God’s provision of all our essential needs, will be ours, if we “seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness”, Matthew 6-33. That search is through reading God’s word and earnest prayer to Him.

Bible Readings

1. Phil 4:11-12

For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

2. Romans 15:13-14

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

3. John 13-17

For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you… If you know these things, happy are you if you do them.

4. Job 36:11

If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.

5. Psalm 118:24

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2548

Desire for true happiness frees man from his immoderate attachment to the goods of this world so that he can find his fulfillment in the vision and beatitude of God. “The promise [of seeing God] surpasses all beatitude. . . . In Scripture, to see is to possess. . . . Whoever sees God has obtained all the goods of which he can conceive.”

2. Paragraph 1818

The virtue of hope responds to the aspiration to happiness which God has placed in the heart of every man; it takes up the hopes that inspire men’s activities and purifies them so as to order them to the Kingdom of heaven; it keeps man from discouragement; it sustains him during times of abandonment; it opens up his heart in expectation of eternal beatitude. Buoyed up by hope, he is preserved from selfishness and led to the happiness that flows from charity.

3. Paragraph 45

Man is made to live in communion with God in whom he finds happiness: When I am completely united to you, there will be no more sorrow or trials; entirely full of you, my life will be complete (St. Augustine, Conf. 10, 28, 39: PL 32, 795}.

Small Group Questions

  1. What are some ways to be happy today?
  2. What are some things that we can control that will make us happy?
  3. How can we better prepare our children for a life of happiness?
  4. Share your thoughts on happiness amongst the group.

Recommended Resources

  1. http://www.googlesyndicatedsearch.com/u/catholicity?s=happiness&q=happiness+site%3Awww.catholicity.com%2Fcatechism%2F
  2. http://www.bibleed.com/bibleteachings/christianlife/happiness.asp
  3. Our Happiness by Matthew Kelly
    http://www.integratedcatholiclife.org/2010/09/our-happiness/
  4. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=+Romans+15%3A13-14&version=NIV
  5. The Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly
    http://www.matthewkelly.org/bookstore/the-rhythm-of-life
  6. The Four Levels of Happiness REV. ROBERT SPITZER, S.J.

Accountability

  1. Make a commitment to study the bible on a regular basis and grow closer to Christ.
  2. Make a commitment to serve others within and outside of your family and live the life of “doing unto others”.
  3. Study the 5 steps in attached article.

Author(s)

Dave Karsten and Michael Copfer

Included Resources

1. Five Steps to Better Mental Health – According to St. Paul by Msgr. Charles Pope
http://blog.adw.org/2012/07/five-steps-to-better-mental-health-according-to-st-paul/

Step I. Rejoice in the Presence of the Lord – The text says, Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your moderateness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

Step II. Rely on the Power of the Lord – The text says – Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition…present your requests to God.

Step III. Remember the Provision of the Lord – The text says, with thanksgiving,

Step IV. Rest in the Peace of the Lord – And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Step V. Reflect on the Plan of the Lord – Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.

Am I Putting Dad Last?

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Summary

How do I sincerely place members of my family above me and my desires?

Objective

As the family leader I am most able to determine its spiritual, social, and financial atmosphere through my actions. How do I sincerely place members of my family above me and my desires? What do I do to be sure that I am not keeping score or manipulating situations to my advantage, rather teaching through humility.

Bible Readings

1. Romans 12: 1-12

1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service.

2 And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

3 For I say, through the grace that was given me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think as to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to each man a measure of faith.

4 For even as we have many members in one body, and all the members have not the same office:

5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and severally members one of another.

6 And having gifts differing according to the grace that was given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of our faith;

7 or ministry, let us give ourselves to our ministry; or he that teacheth, to his teaching;

8 or he that exhorteth, to his exhorting: he that giveth, let him do it with liberality; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that showeth mercy, with cheerfulness.

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.

10 In love of the brethren be tenderly affectioned one to another; in honor preferring one another;

11 in diligence not slothful; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;

12 rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing stedfastly in prayer;

2. 1 Kings 3:10-14

Catechism Readings

1. Part III, Section One; Article 7: 1808-1809 (page 444)

1808 Fortitude is the moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good. It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life. The virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions. It disposes one even to renounce and sacrifice his life in defense of a just cause. “The Lord is my strength and my song.”70 “In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”71

1809 Temperance is the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and provides balance in the use of created goods. It ensures the will’s mastery over instincts and keeps desires within the limits of what is honorable. The temperate person directs the sensitive appetites toward what is good and maintains a healthy discretion: “Do not follow your inclination and strength, walking according to the desires of your heart.”72 Temperance is often praised in the Old Testament: “Do not follow your base desires, but restrain your appetites.”73 In the New Testament it is called “moderation” or “sobriety.” We ought “to live sober, upright, and godly lives in this world.”74

To live well is nothing other than to love God with all one’s heart, with all one’s soul and with all one’s efforts; from this it comes about that love is kept whole and uncorrupted (through temperance). No misfortune can disturb it (and this is fortitude). It obeys only [God] (and this is justice), and is careful in discerning things, so as not to be surprised by deceit or trickery (and this is prudence).75

Small Group Questions

1. What do you do to make sure that you are placing others before you?

2. Do your children believe that you are sacrificing for them? How do they understand this without you “laying a guilt trip” on them?

3. How do you manage the line between putting others first and not being taken advantage of?

Recommended Resources

1. Rediscovering Catholicism, by Matthew Kelly, pages 27-29

Accountability

1. This week bring this topic up to your family at the dinner table and have a discussion about putting other needs above their own.

Author(s)

Taken from 2009 syllabus and adapted by Mark Oliva

Getting Through Spiritual Dry Spells

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Summary

Ever feel like you are just going through the motions. Like you are going to church because you know it’s right, but it just isn’t making that special connection. How do you work your way out of it? What can you focus on to bring you back to a rewarding relationship with God and the church?

Objective

It seems like a lot of people go through spiritual dry spells. People sometimes feel apathetic about their relationship with God and/or feel like God’s voice is silent during a difficult time. The objective is to provide some practical tips for getting through times of spiritual dryness.

Bible Readings

1. Hebrews 11:6

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

2. Job 30:20

“I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me.

3. Matthew 8:26

He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

Catechism Readings

  1. Paragraph 2088

The first commandment requires us to nourish and protect our faith with prudence and vigilance, and to reject everything that is opposed to it. There are various ways of sinning against faith:

Voluntary doubt about the faith disregards or refuses to hold as true what God has revealed and the Church proposes for belief. Involuntary doubt refers to hesitation in believing, difficulty in overcoming objections connected with the faith, or also anxiety aroused by its obscurity. If deliberately cultivated doubt can lead to spiritual blindness.

  1. Paragraph 162

Faith is an entirely free gift that God makes to man. We can lose this priceless gift, as St. Paul indicated to St. Timothy: “Wage the good warfare, holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting conscience, certain persons have made shipwreck of their faith.” To live, grow and persevere in the faith until the end we must nourish it with the word of God; we must beg the Lord to increase our faith; it must be “working through charity,” abounding in hope, and rooted in the faith of the Church.

Small Group Questions

1. What do you do when you are going through a spiritual dry spell?

2. Is there some activity, sacrament or inspirational book that jelps you get back on track with your spiritual journey?

Recommended Resources

1. Any links to online resource or referenced books

2. Best ways to: http://www.example.com/howto

Accountability

1. Ask yourself – is there anything I am doing to block God’s voice? Take time to reflect on what you have been doing lately.

2. Have you been praying, receiving the sacraments, etc.?

3. Are you filling your life with other distractions?

Author(s)

Tony Heekin

Included Resources

1. From http://www.conversiondiary.com/2009/07/9-tips-for-spiritual-dry-spells.html

1. Make sure you’re not doing anything to block out God’s voice
– Is there specific sin in your life that is blocking you relationship with God?
– Are you holding a grudge against someone?

2. Keep praying (no, seriously, keep praying)
– Mix up your prayer life a bit. Add the rosary if you are not currently saying it. Pray with your spouse.
– A spiritual dry spell is not the time to start subtracting spiritual practices that you once felt called to do.

3. Receive the sacraments

– Increase the frequency with which you receive the sacraments of the Eucharist and Confession. As with prayer, it’s tempting to slack off on going to Mass or Confession if it doesn’t lead to an emotional experience, but the sacraments are channels of grace regardless of how we feel when we receive them.

4. Read inspiring spiritual books
Mother Teresa’s Secret Fire

In the Shadow of His Wings

Come Be My Light

He Leadeth Me

Finding God’s Will for You

10 Prayers God Always Says Yes To

5. Make sure there’s not a physical cause

-Though we always have free will to turn to God no matter what the circumstances (as I was recently reminded), I’ve found that if I’m staying up too late, constantly eating junk food, not exercising, pushing myself too hard, etc., I’m far more tempted to turn away from God than when I’m feeling good physically — and this alone can lead to spiritual dry spells.

6. Make sure you’re recharging your batteries

-This is similar to the above, but it’s so important yet so often overlooked that I think it’s worth addressing as a separate point. It is critically important to understand how you recharge your batteries, i.e. knowing what activities give you energy vs. what activities drain your energy.

7. Find a spiritual director

-Spiritual directors can help you work through questions like, “Am I doing something to block out God’s voice?”, “What could be the purpose for God’s silence in my life right now?”, “How can I keep praying when I feel so unmotivated?”, etc.

8. Consider counseling

-If you think you might have serious unresolved issues in your life that are impacting your relationship with God, you may want to consider finding a Christian counselor to help you gain peace in those areas of your life.

9. Research the Christian understanding of spiritual dry spells

-If you’ve done all of the above and nothing is better, it may simply be that God is withholding spiritual consolation from you for a reason.

Four ways to Encounter Jesus in the Mass

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Objective

Pay more attention during mass and learn to encounter Jesus

1. In the community

2. In His Word

3. Through the Priest

4. Through the Eucharist

When we learn how to “be on the lookout for Jesus Christ at Mass; when the Mass is no longer just a ritual that repeats the same old thing every time, but becomes an event through which we encounter Jesus Christ, then it will be anything but boring.

Bible Readings

1. 1 Cor. 11:23-26

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, ‘This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.’ In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant of my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.’ For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes”

2. Matthew. 5:23–24

Assemble on the Lord’s day, and break bread and offer the Eucharist; but first make confession of your faults, so that your sacrifice may be a pure one. Anyone who has a difference with his fellow is not to take part with you until he has been reconciled, so as to avoid any profanation of your sacrifice.

3. Luke 22:19

And he took bread, and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me’.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 1382

The Mass is at the same time, and inseparably, the sacrificial memorial in which the sacrifice of the cross is perpetuated and the sacred banquet of communion with the Lord’s body and blood. But the celebration of the Eucharistic sacrifice is wholly directed toward the intimate union of the faithful with Christ through communion. To receive communion is to receive Christ himself who has offered himself for us.

2. Paragraph 1378

Worship of the Eucharist.

In the liturgy of the Mass we express our faith in the real presence of Christ under the species of bread and wine by, among other ways, genuflecting or bowing deeply as a sign of adoration of the Lord. “The Catholic Church has always offered and still offers to the sacrament of the Eucharist the cult of adoration, not only during Mass, but also outside of it, reserving the consecrated hosts with the utmost care, exposing them to the solemn veneration of the faithful, and carrying them in procession.

Small Group Questions

1. What effort do you put in to understanding what is going on during Mass? You only get out of it what you put in.

2. Do you challenge your family to participate and be attentive during Mass?

Recommended Resources

1. The Mass: Four Encounters with Jesus That Will Change Your Life, Dr. Tom Curran

2. “The Holy Mass- The Testimony of Catalina” – Document is on the Father’s Team website

3. “The Lamb’s Supper – Scott Hahn

Accountability

1. Next time you attend Mass actively try to encounter Jesus through your fellow parishioners, in the readings, through the priest’s homily and through the Eucharist.

Author(s)

Tony Heekin