How to get your career unstuck

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Summary

In a rut career-wise? Does it seem like others are getting much more out of their careers…. and you are struggling to find satisfaction in yours? How do you take action to find fulfillment in your work or put a plan in place to make a career change?

Objective

Are you unhappy in your current job? Has the changing economy or a “re-organization” forced you to consider a new career? Whatever your reason for seeking out a new path, it’s a decision that you can’t take lightly. Changing careers can be very stressful on both you and your family, and be very costly. Before you give your two-week notice, take a moment to look at your current situation. Are you really stuck?

Maybe you are way better off than you think. Things always seem to look better on the other side of the street….from a distance. Are there options available to you that you have not investigated? Have you considered that your career dissatisfaction may be coming from a lack of “balance” in your life? Sometimes all we know is that we want a change.

No plan…no road map…no destination.

Take an objective look at your current situation, level of satisfaction, assess your options and put a plan in place to make a change….or not.

Bible Readings

1. Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely;

In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.

2. Isaiah 43: 11-13

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine.

When you pass through the water, I will be with you; in the rivers you shall not drown. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned; the flames shall not consume you.

For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your savior.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 378

The sign of man’s familiarity with God is that God places him in the garden.255 There he lives “to till it and keep it”. Work is not yet a burden, but rather the collaboration of man and woman with God in perfecting the visible creation.

2. Paragraph 901

Hence the laity, dedicated as they are to Christ and anointed by the Holy Spirit, are marvelously called and prepared so that even richer fruits of the Spirit maybe produced in them. For all their works, prayers, and apostolic undertakings, family and married life, daily work, relaxation of mind and body, if they are accomplished in the Spirit – indeed even the hardships of life if patiently born – all these become spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

Small Group Questions

1. Are the career expectations that you had when you started your job being met?

2. Who do you know that made a successful career change or transition?

3. What would cause you make a change? External conditions or internal desire?

Recommended Resources

1. Changing Careers is a Big Decision. Make Sure You Plan Ahead http://financialplan.about.com/od/planningforlifestages/a/ready-for-a-career-change.htm

2. 10 Steps to a Successful Career Change http://jobsearch.about.com/cs/careerresources/a/10steps.htm

3. 3 Ways To Get Unstuck In Your Career – Forbes – Nov 2012 http://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2012/11/30/3-ways-to-get-unstuck-in-your-career/

4. Job Loss Support Group at IHM

http://ihom.org/Serve/HealthMinistrySupport/JobLossSupportGroup.aspx

Accountability

1. What do you like about your career?

2. Are you taking action to at least assess, or better yet, change job and career issues that are dissatisfying for you?

3. Can you be helping someone making a career change?

Author(s)

Reid Rooney

Included Resources

8 Career Change Tips

http://animalcareers.about.com/od/Animals/a/8-Career-Change-Tips.htm

Making the change to a new career can certainly be difficult in a tough economy, but it is far from an impossible task. Here are a few key steps that will prepare you for making a successful transition from one career path to another:

1. Research the career fully by searching the internet and reading books and career guides at your local library. There is a wealth of information available from both the web and the library if you take the time to look for it. Be sure you are familiar with all of the duties that will be required of you in your new career, and be sure that these duties are things that you will enjoy. It is also important to research the salary range that you can expect in the new career so that you can be sure you will be able to meet your current financial obligations (mortgage, car payment, and other bills). If a pay cut is involved it might be a good time to review your budget.

2. Connect with a professional who has the type of job you are intending to pursue. This could be someone you know personally, someone you are referred to by a friend, or someone recommended to you by your college alumni association or a professional group. Prepare a list of questions to ask and see if it would be possible to shadow them for a day while they complete their duties. An up close and personal view of the job’s responsibilities can be invaluable, so if this is possible be sure to take advantage of the opportunity.

3. Identify transferable skills that you will be able to use in your new position. Making a list of skills that you have developed on your current job or through participation in sports and hobbies is a good starting point. There is also a site on the U.S. Department of Labor website, known as O*Net, that lists skills necessary for success in over 25,000 career paths. This is another great place to look for specific qualities that may deserve some emphasis on your resume.

4. Seek additional training or education if it will improve your chances of making a successful career change. There are many colleges, universities, and trade schools that offer night or weekend classes designed for adult students who have full time jobs. Even if you just take a semester-long professional training course it will show that you have current knowledge of the field. You can also highlight this additional education on your resume.

5. Volunteer in positions related to your intended career. While you probably can’t commit to a full time internship while also holding down a full time job, you can often find weekend or evening activities that will help you add skills that will enhance your resume. It is especially true in the animal industry that there is no substitute for having practical hands on experience. If you don’t have experience working with a particular type of animal (and it will factor into your new position) be sure to tailor your volunteering or internship experiences to correct that lack of experience.

6. Utilize social media networking to expand your job search through person to person contacts and referrals. It is always easier to get your foot in the door when someone puts in a good word for you. Networking through social media sites such as LinkedIn can put you in contact with the professional contacts of your friends and business connections. The wider you cast your net in a career search, especially when changing careers, the better.

7. Prepare a resume that highlights your transferable skills and the strengths that you developed in your previous career. Using the functional resume format will highlight the skills that you have developed in your other positions. The functional resume lists each major skill as a heading and then lists a few achievements related to the skill. This style minimizes any work experience that doesn’t enhance your job prospects in the new field while maximizing exposure for skills and abilities gained through volunteer work, internships, or other non-work activities.

8. Be persistent and keep trying to make the change, even if it takes a while to find the right employer that is willing to give you a chance. In the current job market there are many applicants for each available position, and employers may have quite a few qualified candidates to select from. Networking, preparing a great resume, gaining additional training, and volunteering should help career changers enhance their job prospects.

Are We called to be Saints?

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Summary

In one sense, everyone who is baptized into Jesus’ death and resurrection is a saint. This is not to diminish the special role of the canonized saints but to highlight the immense gift that is all of ours in Christ. Because of the power of the cross, each Christian has the same inheritance in heaven as the great saints whose lives we commemorated in a special way on All Saints Day.!

Objective

“Are you a saint?” If someone were to ask you this question, how would you answer it? At the very beginning of his letter to the Philippians, Paul called his readers “saints,” or “holy ones” (Note: many Bible translations use the word saints in place of “holy ones.”) When we hear the word “saint,” most of us think of the special Christians of the past-canonized saints-who are renowned because of their extraordinary holiness and witness, in some cases to the point of martyrdom. However, when Paul used the word “saint,” he used it with a small “s” not a capital “S.” and thus meant all Christians-even us today!

Bible Readings

1. 2 Timothy Chapter 1, 9

He saved us and called us to a holy life, not according to our works but according to his own design and the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus before time began.

2. Philippians Chapter 1, 1-11

Paul and Timothy, slaves of Christ Jesus, to all the holy ones in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi, with the overseers and ministers: grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I give thanks to my God at every remembrance of you, praying always with joy in my every prayer for all of you, because of your partnership for the gospel from the first day until now. I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.

It is right that I should think this way about all of you, because I hold you in my heart, you who are all partners with me in grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may increase ever more and more in knowledge and every kind of perception, to discern what is of value, so that you may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 823

“The Church… is held, as a matter of faith, to be unfailingly holy. This is because Christ, the Son of God, who with the Father and the Spirit is hailed as ‘alone holy,’ loved the Church as his Bride, giving himself up for her so as to sanctify her; he joined her to himself as his body and endowed her with the gift of the Holy Spirit for the glory of God.” The Church, then, is “the holy People of God,” and her members are called “saints.”

Small Group Questions

1. How would you answer the question: “Are you a saint? Are you Holy?

a. Correct answer is: “yes I am holy, not because of me, but because of Christ, Who lives inside of me. The day I was chosen and baptized, god set me apart as His own. Now I am holy in God.”

2. What steps can you take to open yourself more to the work of the Holy Spirit to form you more and more into a “saint”?

3. At the end of your meeting, pray for one another that each of you would be empowered to be saints and a witness to this broken and hurting world. Use this prayer as a starting point.

“Father, thank you for giving me a share in the fellowship of your saints. By your Spirit, empower me to embrace Jesus and his life in me. Empower me to be a saint.”

Recommended Resources

http://catholicexchange.com/what-does-it-means-to-be-a-saint/

Based on the characteristics that Paul mentioned in the first few verses of Philippians, we can begin to define what makes a person a “saint.”:

Saints are “in Christ” (Philippians 1:1).
They are united with Jesus; they are “partners . . . in grace” (1:7).
They have access to the love and power of the Spirit in their everyday lives.
Because of their “partnership for the gospel” (1:5), they are all called and empowered to proclaim the gospel and build the kingdom of God.
Baptized into Christ and filled with the Spirit, saints stand as a sign to the world of the love and power of God.

Author(s)

Fr Larry Richards, Be a Man Chapter 9.

Strategies for Keeping Your Kids or Grandkids Catholic

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Summary

A child’s faith trajectory is fairly established by the time they reach 14 years of age. Young adults are considered one of the most un-churched generations. The challenge is to help young people experience Catholicism as fulfilling their spiritual hunger. What can we do to help our children and grandchildren nurture and remain active in their faith?

Objective

Children tend to follow the faith of their parents. Roman Catholic families have traditionally had a passive approach to educating their children about the Catholic faith, delegating the responsibility of teaching our faith to others (teachers, schools, priests, nuns, etc.). As Fathers, we have a critical role in establishing the importance of faith in our families. Our children look to us for guidance. We have a narrow window of time to influence their beliefs and establish the faith as an important part of their lives. The powerful memories that we give our kids will sustain them and give them roots, when temptations of the world challenge them. Research has consistently shown that the chosen path of Faith by Adult Children is more impacted by Fathers than Mothers (even very devout Mothers). As Leaders of our Families, Fathers must lead by the example of “living our Faith” and teaching our children/grandchildren the Truths revealed by Jesus in the Bible and in the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Bible Readings

1. Proverbs 22:6

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

2. Ephesians 6:4

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

3. Matthew 19:13-14

Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people; but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2223

“Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery – the preconditions of all true freedom. Parents should teach their children to subordinate the “material and instinctual dimensions to interior and spiritual ones.” Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them.”

2. Paragraph 2228

“Parents’ respect and affection are expressed by the care and attention they devote to bringing up their young children and providing for their physical and spiritual needs. As the children grow up, the same respect and devotion lead parents to educate them in the right use of their reason and freedom.”

Small Group Questions

1. What type of spiritual example are you setting for your children?

2. Do you pray with your kids? (ie, evening meal or bedtime) Do you look for opportunities to pray the Rosary with them. (ie, on a routine basis like once each week or in the car on the way to a fun activity or after a death in the Family or to thank God for something good in the Family or when they are grounded or punished, etc)

3. What events/things do you do with your kids to put faith in action?

4. Do you use the Bible and/or Catechism to teach the Catholic Faith (ie, about the Mass and the Holy Eucharist or about morality or current social issues, etc)

5. Do you focus unique Catholic teachings that separate us from other Christians? (ie, the Holy Eucharist, the Mass, Sacrament of Reconciliation, moral teachings that are counter-cultural like marriage or contraception, the Virgin Mary, teachings on salvation, Sacred Tradition, Papal Authority, the Saints, etc)

6. Can you explain how Jesus founded the Catholic Church and all other Christian Churches were founded by another human being?

Recommended Resources

1. “8 Strategies for Keeping Your Kids Catholic”, by Robert McCarty, 2008 Liguori Publications (Most of pamphlet included below)

2. Strong Catholic Families, Strong Catholic Youth by Michael Theisen (National Federation for Catholic Youth Ministry):

http://www.diojeffcity.org/Ministries/ChristianEd/ReligiousEd/Strong%20Catholic%20Families/A2FamilyFaithResourceBookBWrevised.pdf

3. “Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers”, by Christian Smith and Melina Lundquist Denton, 2009

4. “Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of Emerging Adults”, by Christian Smith and Patricia Snell, 2009

5. http://www.catholic.com which is an excellent resource to answer Catholic questions and to find Biblical and Catechism references (ie, great search engine)

Accountability

1. Set a positive image and be your child’s spiritual example.

2. Review the 8 strategies with your wife and look for ways to be engaged with your kids regarding putting the faith in action.

3. Conversation starters about faith and religion you can use with you kids:

a. Do you understand the Church’s teachings on the “Real Presence” of Jesus in the Holy Eucharist and do you know what the Bible says about this Sacrament? How much of this is just accepting what Jesus says about the Holy Eucharist? Can you accept this teaching because “Jesus says so” or must this be proven scientifically before you can accept this teaching? Are there other things that you accept as true without scientific testing?

b. How and why do you pray? What kind of relationship do you have with God?

c. Why do you love Jesus?

d. What is sin and why is avoiding sin important? Can you name sins that are common in our society? Do the 10 Commandments apply to today’s world?

e. On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is going to Mass on Sunday for you? What makes it that number?

f. Have you ever had an experience where your faith was really tested?

g. Have you ever had an experience where your faith has really helped you?

h. Who do you consider to be a genuine person of faith?

i. What church teaching most confuses you?

j. How is your faith different now from when you were younger?

k. What experiences, places, or persons have really fostered your growth in faith?

l. Should we conform to what God has revealed through the Bible and His Church or should we pick and choose what we like best? Why?

Author(s): Michael Copfer and Ken Mai (amended by George Cullen)

Included Resources

8 Strategies for Keeping Your Kids Catholic, by Robert McCarty, 2008 Liguori Publications

1. Practice and Participate:

Contrary to popular opinion, the Number 1 influence in the faith life of young people is the faith life of their parents. Young people really do mirror the faith life of their parents, so the way we practice our religion is very important. Our participation is Sunday Mass and other special liturgical celebrations, as well as our active involvement in the life of the parish, shows our children that our religion is a significant part of our lives. In addition to Mass attendance, we can participate in retreats, Bible study groups, church organizations and ministries, or adult catechesis sessions.

If you want your young adults to go to Mass, invite them to go with you – even if it’s just on a special holy day or anniversary. They may decline, but your invitation will remind them that Mass is a meaningful part of your life and that you wish to share your faith with them.

2. Model Our Faith:

In addition to worshiping with our children, we can have a great impact on the faith of young people when our faith guides our daily routines and interactions. Faith should influence our lifestyle choices, use of time, how we handle conflicts, the relationships we form, and even how we handle work issues. It may sound trite, but the two most obvious challenges to the practice of faith in real life are how adults drive their cars and how they behave at sports events! Our spontaneous reactions in emotional situations can reveal to others whether our faith and values influence our behavior.

So we might ask ourselves: Do we pray at home in the evening? Before family meals? In restaurants? Do we remember people who are less fortunate in our prayers? Do we pray for our children’s intentions? For their friends? Do we model forgiveness and reconciliation in our lives by admitting when we are wrong and forgiving others who hurt us? How do we handle crises such as death, divorce and illnesses? Does our faith impact how we celebrate Christmas, Easter, or other holy days? Do we volunteer our time and talent to ant service organizations or civic programs? All of these situations are part of life. Our young people watch to see if faith makes sense to us, if faith works for us. They are looking for a faith that provides meaning in all areas of their life, not just on Sundays.

If you want your young adults to go to Mass on Sunday, model your Catholicism at all times and in all settings.

3. Include Young Adults:

What a blessing it would be if all our young people were greeted by name when they walked through the church doors! We begin to meet their hunger for connection by welcoming them on Sunday and fostering their participation in the faith community. A sense of belonging is a very strong bond.

These experiences begin with the parish young adult ministry program. Young adults need to gather with their peers right in their own church. They need opportunities to build community with their peers, to feel connected with other faith-filled persons, and to interact with caring, believing adults. Parents should encourage their young adult’s participation in appropriate parish activities Parishes must be intentional in including young adults in their liturgical, pastoral, and leadership ministries. We can’t wait until young people ask or volunteer: we must actively invite them into responsible participation in the life, work and mission of the faith community.

Of course, the experience of community goes beyond the local Church. Gathering with other young adults through national groups such as Theology on Tap or at diocesan or international events like World Youth Day will give them a sense of belonging to something bigger. One of the main benefits of these events is that participants connect with their peers from other regions and cultures. It helps bring home the truth that they are part of an important and inclusive global community.

If you want your young adults to go to Mass, help them experience their membership in the greater Catholic family. Encourage them to be involved in liturgical ministries and invite them to be leaders in parish programs.

4. Doing Faith:

One of the most important characteristics of the spirituality of young adults is their need to “do faith.” Actions inspired by faith are powerful experiences. Perhaps the most profound experience of doing faith is involvement in justice and service projects. Serving in soup kitchens, participating in a work camp, working in a community shelter program or emergency-outreach center, tutoring children, or participating in public events for justice can have a significant impact on the faith of young adults and respond to their hunger for justice.

Similarly, young people “do faith” when they participate in retreats, pilgrimages, or public Stations of the Cross. These can be moving experiences of faith in action, too. All of these experiences are even more powerful when young adults and their parents participate in events together.

If you want your young adults to go to Mass, encourage them to “do faith” through their participation in service to the community, in parish ministries and in special liturgical events.

5. Learning Opportunities:

Young adults do need to know the traditions, creed, teachings and stories of our faith community. They need to know the story of Jesus and the gospel message. Many are genuinely interested in reading and understanding Scripture. They need to know to know what it means to be Catholic, and they want to learn how to participate in the rituals and worship of the Church. The faith community needs to be a safe place where young adults can bring their questions and where they can search with others for answers that make sense, meet their needs and provide meaning and purpose in their lives.

Further, our young people need to know about that unique dimension of our faith often described as our Catholic “imagination.” Catholics “see” the world differently. Through our sacramental lens, we encounter a world filled with God’s presence. Our traditional practices, our use of images, our symbols, and our rituals provide an avenue to an encounter with an imminent, loving God.

If you want your young adults to go to Mass, find opportunities for them to learn more about their faith through Bible study, faith-sharing groups, or other diocesan programs-and offer to go with them!

6. Prayer Skills:

Young adults need both personal and communal experiences of prayer. They can be creative and enthusiastic when they are invited to compose original prayers or spiritual poems that incorporate their favorite music and symbols. Often they are very open to traditional contemplative Catholic approaches to prayer, such as the Ignatian exercises, which enable them to connect with Spirit within.

They should also be encouraged to participate with the faith community in worship experiences, sharing in the Catholic community’s understanding of God, our traditions, our unique rituals and our ways of prayer. This “both/and” approach to the personal and communal dimension fosters their experience of prayer as the outpouring of their relationship with God and deepens their faith.

If you want your young adults to go to Mass, talk with them about personal prayer and the value of praying together at Mass.

7. Faith Sharing:

As young adults search for a personal understanding of God, they must be able and encouraged to look for God’s presence in their lived experiences. Young adults should be assisted in naming their experience of a God who is active and present in their lives. God does not wait to be invited into the lives of young people. God takes the initiative and is present, but God waits to be identified or named. Many young adults need language to help them understand and express their experiences of God.

Parents and other caring, faith-filled adults can assist young adults in identifying God’s presence in their joys and sorrows, in their hopes and dreams and in their day-to-day lives. Of course, this requires that we have the language to name the presence of God in our own lives. We can ask our young adults where they experience God, where they pray best, where they feel joy and sorrow, for God is present there. And we can share our own experiences.

This faith sharing is a very important task because young people will never understand the Hebrew-Christian Scriptures until they can read the Scriptures of their own lives. Therein young adults experience the God who is always active and resent. And we should be open to having our own understanding of God challenged and perhaps deepened by our young adults’ experience of God.

If you want young adults to go to Mass, ask them questions about their faith life.

8. Compelling Adventure:

At the heart of their spiritual hunger is the desire of young adults for a compelling vision of life that provides a genuine sense of meaning and purpose-a noble adventure worthy of their commitment. The Catholic Church inherited the noble adventure and compelling mission of Jesus Christ-to build the reign of god-to make the world better for all people.

Participation in this spiritual adventure requires a community of companions also committed to thus mission-that is, the Church. There is also a need to celebrate this adventure regularly-that is, at Mass. At its best, liturgy is a spiritual drama that tells the story of Jesus and connects that story with building the reign here and now.

If you want your young adults to go to Mass, call them to a compelling adventure worthy of their lives.

The Holy Rosary

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Summary

We, as Catholics, know and understand that the Mass is the most powerful prayer since Jesus commanded us to “do this in memory of me”. As Vatican II stated, the Holy Eucharist is the “Source, Center, and Summit of our Faith.” Of the numerous Catholic prayers and devotions, the Holy Rosary is arguably the second most powerful prayer.

Objective

History and Origin of the Rosary: before Christianity, the ancient Hebrews used to pray the 150 Psalms and used to tie 150 knots to represent all of the Psalms in the Bible. The origin of the Rosary is rooted in the 13^th Century, when Saint Dominic de Guzman was sadly praying to the Blessed Mother about his lack of progress in his preaching to the Albigensians who were a growing group of heretics in France at that time. The Albigensians denounced the Incarnation and the dignity of human life and even praised suicide. In response to Saint Dominic’s lamentations, the Blessed Mother appeared to him and taught him to pray the Holy Rosary to which she referred as “heavenly dew” which would bring an “abundant harvest” and that it did for St Dominic. In subsequent apparitions (ie, Lourdes and Fatima), our Blessed Mother has strongly encouraged us to pray the Rosary. Starting with Pope Urban IV, numerous Popes throughout the centuries have strongly endorsed the Holy Rosary including Pope John Paul II who wrote an encyclical on the Rosary. In fact, it was Pope John Paul II, a staunch advocate of the Rosary, who added 5 more decades to the traditional 15 decades.

The mechanics of the Rosary are simple with the main prayers being the Apostles’ Creed, the Our Father, the Hail Mary, and the Glory Be. However, the real power of the Rosary is that it is a meditative prayer with which we pray to both Jesus and His Blessed Mother and meditate on the Scriptural verses which depicts key events in the lives of Jesus and His Blessed Mother which are found in the Sorrowful, Joyful, Glorious, and Luminous Mysteries. 18 of the 20 decades have direct links to Sacred Scripture while 2 have indirect references in Sacred Scripture. According to St Louis de Montfort, a spiritual disciple of St Dominic who was strongly devoted to our Blessed Mother, meditating on the mysteries of the Holy Rosary will produce some wonderful results:

1. It will gradually give us perfect knowledge of Jesus Christ

2. It purifies our souls, washing away sins

3. It gives us victory over our enemies

4. It makes it easy to practice virtue

5. It sets us on fire with a love of Jesus

6. It enriches us with graces and merits.

Note: Meditation is very easy. You just think about the mystery that is described in the Bible as you pray the decade of Our Father with 10 Hail Mary’s. For example, for the sorrowful mystery of the Crucifixion, you visualize the stripping of Jesus’ clothes; nailing Jesus to the cross; Jesus’ suffering on the cross; people shouting at Jesus; etc

Bible Readings

1. Luke 1: 28 (what the Angel Gabriel said to Mary at the Annunciation)

And he came to her and said, “Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you.”

2. Luke 1: 42 (how Elizabeth greeted Mary at the Visitation)

And she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.”

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2708

“Meditation engages thought, imagination, emotion, and desire. This mobilization of faculties is necessary in order to deepen our convictions of faith, prompt conversion of our heart, and strengthen our will to follow Christ. Christian prayer tries above all to meditate on the mysteries of Christ, as in lectio divina or the rosary. This form of prayerful reflection is of great value, but Christian prayer should go further: to the knowledge of love of the Lord Jesus, to union with him.”

Small Group Questions

1. For those of you who already say the Rosary regularly, what have been the benefits for you, your Family, and the people for whom you pray?

2. If you meditate on Sacred Scripture as you pray the Rosary, why is this NOT boring?

3. What opportunities do you have to pray the Rosary in your busy schedule?

4. What makes the Rosary such a powerful prayer?

5. Do you have opportunities to pray the Rosary with your Family? If so, when?

Recommended Resources

1. The Rosary “The Little Summa” by Robert Feeney

2. Real Men Pray the Rosary: A Practical Guide to a Powerful Prayer by David N Calvillo

3. David Calvillo’s website: http://www.realmenpraytherosary.org

Accountability

1. Take the 33 day challenge offered by David Calvillo at his website.

2. Before you begin your Rosary, look at the Sacred Scripture that describes the mysteries. For example, the scriptural verses related to the Sorrowful Mysteries (the Passion and Death) will provide you with much for your meditation. After you do that for the Sorrowful Mysteries, repeat this process of reading applicable scriptural verses for the Glorious, the Joyful, and the Luminous Mysteries. This will help your meditation tremendously.

3. If you need help, purchase a Rosary prayer book at your local Catholic book store. These prayer books normally have the scriptural verses related to mysteries of the Rosary.

Author(s)

George Cullen

Included Resources

1. The 33 Day Challenge from David Calvillo’s website
http://www.realmenpraytherosary.org

Pray the Rosary daily. Not for 30 days but 33 days. 33 represents the number of years that Jesus dwelt among us in the fullness of his humanity. 33 constitutes a direct connection to the fullness of the Divine- made man, a connection to Jesus himself. One day of praying the Rosary for every year that Jesus gave us, setting aside his glory as God, and living and breathing and walking among us. Pray the Rosary daily for 33 days. Focus on the content of the mysteries. Meditate upon that Gospel story and apply the lessons to your life. Pray for the Holy Spirit to open your heart to receive the fullness of His mystery-the fullness of faith.

You won’t be alone. We’ll all be praying with you. Beginning May 1, the entire RMPTR community, the Body of Christ, will pray along with you. Share your journey with us – on Facebook- or post a comment on this page. Share your reflection on a mystery of the day. You can subscribe to our daily reflection and receive it by email. Ask the RMPTR community to join in your intentions. Share your journey. Share your laughter. Invite someone you love to join the journey. We know it will change your prayer life. We know praying the Rosary daily will change your life.

Praying the Rosary daily permits us to employ the full gospel story — the new covenant salvation story — within our continuing faith journey. Those who pray the Rosary daily and who respond to the call to faithfully meditate on each day’s mysteries, find that within one week, they have lived through it. They revisit the imminent joy of Advent and the birth of our Lord; they cherish the illuminating reality that Jesus walked among us, talked to and taught us directly; they intimately observe, with Mary by their side, the sorrowful cruelty meted upon him by our sinful humanity and marvel at his loving response; they experience the glory and wonder of promises kept as they stand at the tomb and begin to understand the reality of the covenant satisfied.

Our circle of faith is completed by the visceral story prayed by us and lived by us in this daily prayer.

Such frequent relationship with Jesus and Mary for 25-30 minutes a day is bound to change us. As Pope John Paul II reminded us: “Just as two friends, frequently in each other’s company, tend to develop similar friends, tend to develop similar habits, so too, by holding familiar converse with Jesus and the Blessed Virgin, by meditating on the mysteries of the Rosary, … we can become similar to them” and live that elusive, virtuous holy life.

At the end of the 33 days, pray it forward. Share your experience with a loved one. Invite them to continue the 33 day Rosary challenge for themselves. And for you, notice the arrow on the logo- it continues in perpetuity. The 33 day Rosary challenge invites you to make praying the Rosary a permanent and integral part of your spiritual journey. Pray it forward.

Take the “Real Men Pray the Rosary 33 day Challenge.” Love made you do it!

Four ways to Encounter Jesus in the Mass

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Objective

Pay more attention during mass and learn to encounter Jesus

1. In the community

2. In His Word

3. Through the Priest

4. Through the Eucharist

When we learn how to “be on the lookout for Jesus Christ at Mass; when the Mass is no longer just a ritual that repeats the same old thing every time, but becomes an event through which we encounter Jesus Christ, then it will be anything but boring.

Bible Readings

1. 1 Cor. 11:23-26

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, ‘This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.’ In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant of my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.’ For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes”

2. Matthew. 5:23–24

Assemble on the Lord’s day, and break bread and offer the Eucharist; but first make confession of your faults, so that your sacrifice may be a pure one. Anyone who has a difference with his fellow is not to take part with you until he has been reconciled, so as to avoid any profanation of your sacrifice.

3. Luke 22:19

And he took bread, and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me’.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 1382

The Mass is at the same time, and inseparably, the sacrificial memorial in which the sacrifice of the cross is perpetuated and the sacred banquet of communion with the Lord’s body and blood. But the celebration of the Eucharistic sacrifice is wholly directed toward the intimate union of the faithful with Christ through communion. To receive communion is to receive Christ himself who has offered himself for us.

2. Paragraph 1378

Worship of the Eucharist.

In the liturgy of the Mass we express our faith in the real presence of Christ under the species of bread and wine by, among other ways, genuflecting or bowing deeply as a sign of adoration of the Lord. “The Catholic Church has always offered and still offers to the sacrament of the Eucharist the cult of adoration, not only during Mass, but also outside of it, reserving the consecrated hosts with the utmost care, exposing them to the solemn veneration of the faithful, and carrying them in procession.

Small Group Questions

1. What effort do you put in to understanding what is going on during Mass? You only get out of it what you put in.

2. Do you challenge your family to participate and be attentive during Mass?

Recommended Resources

1. The Mass: Four Encounters with Jesus That Will Change Your Life, Dr. Tom Curran

2. “The Holy Mass- The Testimony of Catalina” – Document is on the Father’s Team website

3. “The Lamb’s Supper – Scott Hahn

Accountability

1. Next time you attend Mass actively try to encounter Jesus through your fellow parishioners, in the readings, through the priest’s homily and through the Eucharist.

Author(s)

Tony Heekin and Graham Galloway

How to commit to giving God 10 Minutes a day

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Summary

We are each called as Catholic Men to a deepening relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. A daily habit of committing 10 minutes for prayer should be an attainable goal for each of us to strive for.

Objective

Can Catholic daily prayers change your life? Absolutely! You can develop
a fuller relationship with God and live a better life through prayer. You have a better chance at finding fulfillment (to say nothing of salvation!), from daily prayers than from the many distractions bombarding us these days!

Think of all the promises we hear on TV and elsewhere: you’ll find happiness if you buy this car, this book, this exercise bike, or this pill
(after checking with your doctor first on that last one)! Yet many times our souls feel as empty as our wallets afterwards.

Developing a good prayer life can really change you for the better. Praying can become a most satisfying routine in many ways. It might not be an easy habit to start at first, but it’s definitely one you won’t want to break! Catholic daily prayers can give you a sense of peace and purpose.

Prayer has often been called “the raising up of the mind and heart to God”. We engage in a literally divine conversation with Him. You get a wonderful opportunity from prayer to strengthen and deepen your relationship with our Creator and with your fellow human beings by praying for their needs as well as your own.

Bible Readings

1. Luke 11: 1-13

Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he had finished,
one of his disciples said to him,
“Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples.”
He said to them, “When you pray, say:
Father, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread
and forgive us our sins
for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us,
and do not subject us to the final test.”

2. 1 Thessalonians 4: 10-11

We urge you….to progress even more and to aspire to live a tranquil life

3. Seeking Her Intercession
The Memorare

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2697

Prayer is the life of the new heart. It ought to animate us at every moment. But we tend to forget him who is our life and our all. This is why the Fathers of the spiritual life in the Deuteronomic and prophetic traditions insist that prayer is a remembrance of God often awakened by the memory of the heart “We must remember God more often than we draw breath.”¹ But we cannot pray “at all times” if we do not pray at specific times, consciously willing it These are the special times of Christian prayer, both in intensity and duration.

2. Paragraph 2698

The Tradition of the Church proposes to the faithful certain rhythms of praying intended to nourish continual prayer. Some are daily, such as morning and evening prayer, grace before and after meals, the Liturgy of the Hours. Sundays, centered on the Eucharist, are kept holy primarily by prayer. the cycle of the liturgical year and its great feasts are also basic rhythms of the Christian’s life of prayer.

3. Paragraph 2699

The Lord leads all persons by paths and in ways pleasing to him, and each believer responds according to his heart’s resolve and the personal expressions of his prayer. However, Christian Tradition has retained three major expressions of prayer: vocal meditative, and contemplative. They have one basic trait in common: composure of heart. This vigilance in keeping the Word and dwelling in the presence of God makes these three expressions intense times in the life of prayer.

Small Group Questions

1. What time of day is the best for you to pray?

2. What resources i.e. daily devotions, scripture or quiet reflections help to put you in a state of grace?

Recommended Resources

1. http://www.ourcatholicprayers.com/catholic-daily-prayers.html

2. http://www.livingfaith.com/

3. http://thereasonforourhope.org/meet_father/homilies.php

Accountability

1. Did you carve out a time this week to devote 10 minutes of daily prayer?

2. Did you Pray for your small group members to help him reach his goals?

Author(s)

Bob Considine

Many Parts, One Body: Different Catholic Spiritualities

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Summary

The saints have left us the legacy of their spiritual journeys to God. We will look at St. Ignatius of Loyola, St. Francis of Assisi, and St. John of the Cross and the spiritual practices they left for their orders and the universal Church.

Objective

The history of the Church is rich in people who have shared their experience of how they came close to God. The saints provide us roadmaps to God. As with any roadmap, there are many different ways to arrive at the same place. One path is not superior to another as long as their destination is the same: eternal union with God in heaven as part of the Communion of Saints. While every person’s path to God is unique, there is also no reason to “reinvent the wheel” completely. God has given us the saints as guides, and we can benefit from their experience as we have benefited from the experience of our parents and as our children have benefited from our experience.

St. Ignatius of Loyola founded the Society of Jesus (the Jesuits). St. Francis of Assisi founded the Franciscans. St. John of the Cross helped found the Discalced (“shoeless”) Carmelites. All three were reformers in their day. St. Ignatius was an important part of the Catholic Counter-Reformation; St. Francis answered Jesus’ call to him to “rebuild my Church”; St. John helped to reform the Carmelite order to return it to a greater simplicity. Starting from their own personal encounters with God, these men were sent by the Holy Spirit to touch others and help bring them closer to God. The spiritual approaches these saints developed can speak to us across the centuries and be as applicable to us in this day and age as it was to them in theirs.

Bible Readings

1. 1 Corinthians 12:12-20

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body – Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the organs in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single organ, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

2. 1 Corinthians 3:5-9

What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are equal, and each shall receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God’s fellow workers, you are God’s field, God’s building.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2684

In the communion of saints, many and varied spiritualities have been developed throughout the history of the churches. The personal charism of some witnesses to God’s love for men has been handed on, like “the spirit” of Elijah to Elisha and John the Baptist, so that their followers may have a share in this spirit. A distinct spirituality can also arise at the point of convergence of liturgical and theological currents, bearing witness to the integration of the faith into a particular human environment and its history. The different schools of Christian spirituality share in the living tradition of prayer and are essential guides for the faithful. In their rich diversity they are refractions of the one pure light of the Holy Spirit.

2. Paragraph 2663

In the living tradition of prayer, each Church proposes to its faithful, according to its historical, social, and cultural context, a language for prayer: words, melodies, gestures, iconography. The Magisterium of the Church has the task of discerning the fidelity of these ways of praying to the tradition of apostolic faith; it is for pastors and catechists to explain their meaning, always in relation to Jesus Christ.

Small Group Questions

1. Do you have experience with Jesuit, Franciscan, or Carmelite spirituality? If not, is there another Catholic spirituality (for example, Marianist, Benedictine, Dominican, Trappist, etc.) with which you have experience? What has that experience been? What about that spirituality speaks to you? Is there anything about that spirituality that does not work for you?

2. Although these spiritualities have their roots in religious orders, these spiritualities are not only applicable to priests, brothers, or sisters in those orders. In fact, Franciscan and Carmelite orders have “third order” or secular/lay groups, and Jesuit practices such as the examen are used by many lay people. How can one of these spiritualities be applied in your daily life in the secular world?

3. Is there anything in the life of St. Ignatius, St. Francis, or St. John that speaks to you? St. Ignatius started out as a worldly, vain, and ambitious aristocrat/soldier who was wounded in battle and during his convalescence began to turn toward God; it took him quite a while to discern the path God had set for him and a great deal of growth in his relationship with God. He saw God working in every aspect of his daily life. St. Francis gave up his family’s wealthy lifestyle to live simply upon the providence of God, living as an example of God’s love for other people and all of creation. St. John helped reform the Carmelite order to make it simpler, facing much opposition and persecution. He also emphasized the importance of contemplation and direct encounters with God. All three of these saints placed Jesus at the center of their lives.

Recommended Resources

1. St. Ignatius and Jesuit Spirituality: http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/prs/stign/ignatian_spirit.html

2. What is Ignatian Prayer? (video): http://www.ignatianspirituality.com/what-is-ignatian-spirituality/the-ignatian-way/what-is-ignatian-prayer/

3. St. Francis and Franciscan Spirituality: http://www.ofmqc.ca/eng/spirituality/spirituality01.htm

4. Franciscan Spirituality (video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kwDEDgPWro

5. St. John of the Cross and Carmelite Spirituality: http://www.carmelite.com/spirituality/default.cfm?loadref=4

6. Carmelite Spirituality: lectio divina: http://ocarm.org/en/content/lectio/what-lectio-divina

7. St. John of the Cross (video): http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=st.+john+of+the+cross&qs=SC&sk=&FORM=VBREQY&pq=st.%20john%20of%20the%20co&sc=2-18&sp=1&qs=SC&sk=#view=detail&mid=2AB0B536A3B7DBABD5912AB0B536A3B7DBABD591

Accountability

1. This week would be a good time to learn a little more about Jesuit, Franciscan, or Carmelite spirituality (or another spirituality you are interested in). Or you might want to learn more about the life of St. Ignatius, St. Francis, or St. John.

2. Sometime this week pray to St. Ignatius, St. Francis, or St. John (or another saint whose spirituality appeals to you) for his intercession as you seek to deepen your relationship with God.

3. Engage in some specific practice particular to one of these spiritualities. For example, you could use the Jesuit examen. You could sit outside and meditate on the Franciscan way of seeing creation as pointing toward God and being in relationship with us as created by God (as in the Canticle of the Sun). You could read Scripture using lectio divina as Carmelites (and others) do, moving towards contemplation.

4. St. Ignatius, St. Francis, and St. John all put Christ at the center of their lives. This week take a concrete action to put Christ more at the center of your life. Some possibilities are: pray 10 minutes each day (or a little more if already praying daily), take 10 minutes in Eucharistic adoration, read a chapter of one of the Gospels, pray the Jesus Prayer – “Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner” repeatedly in contemplation, or meditate on a crucifix.

Author(s)

Pete Caccavari

Included Resources

1. Pope Francis’ homily on the Feast of St. Ignatius (July 31, 2013)

The emblem of us Jesuits is a monogram, the acronym of “Jesus, the Saviour of Mankind” (IHS). Every one of you can tell me: we know that very well! But this crest continually reminds us of a reality that we must never forget: the centrality of Christ for each one of us and for the whole Company, the Company that Saint Ignatius wanted to name “of Jesus” to indicate the point of reference. Moreover, even at the beginning of the Spiritual Exercises he places our Lord Jesus Christ, our Creator and Saviour (Spiritual Exercises, 6) in front of us. And this leads all of us Jesuits, and the whole Company, to be “decentred,” to have “Christ more and more” before us, the “Deus semper maior” [“God always greater”], the “intimior intimo meo” [God is “more intimate than I am to myself”], that leads us continually outside ourselves, that brings us to a certain kenosis, a “going beyond our own loves, desires, and interests” (Spiritual Exercises, 189). Isn’t it obvious, the question for us? For all of us? “Is Christ the centre of my life? Do I really put Christ at the centre of my life?” Because there is always the temptation to want to put ourselves in the centre. And when a Jesuit puts himself and not Christ in the centre, he goes astray. In the first Reading, Moses forcefully calls upon the people to love the Lord, to walk in His ways, “because He is your life” (cf. Deut. 30, 16-20). Christ is our life! The centrality of Christ corresponds also to the centrality of the Church: they are two flames that cannot be separated: I cannot follow Christ except in and with the Church. And even in this case we Jesuits and the whole Company, are not at the centre, we are, so to speak, “displaced”, we are at the service of Christ and of the Church, the Bride of Christ our Lord, who is our Holy Mother Hierarchical Church (cf. Spiritual Exercises, 353). To be men routed and grounded in the Church: that is what Jesus desires of us. There cannot be parallel or isolated paths for us. Yes, paths of searching, creative paths, yes, this is important: to go to the peripheries, so many peripheries. This takes creativity, but always in community, in the Church, with this membership that give us the courage to go forward. To serve Christ is to love this concrete Church, and to serve her with generosity and with the spirit of obedience.

2. Prayer of St. Francis: Canticle of the Sun

Most High, all-powerful, good Lord, Yours are the praises, the glory, the honor, and all blessing. To You alone, Most High, do they belong, and no man is worthy to mention Your name. Praised be You, my Lord, with all your creatures, especially Sir Brother Sun, Who brings the day and through whom You give us light. And he is beautiful and radiant with great splendor; and bears a likeness of You, Most High One. Praised be You, my Lord, through Sister Moon and the stars, in heaven You formed them clear and precious and beautiful. Praised be You, my Lord, through Brother Wind, and through the air, cloudy and serene, and every kind of weather through which You give sustenance to Your creatures. Praised be You, my Lord, through Sister Water, which is very useful and humble and precious and chaste. Praised be You, my Lord, through Brother Fire, through whom You light the night and he is beautiful and playful and robust and strong. Praised be You, my Lord, through our Sister Mother Earth, who sustains and governs us, and who produces varied fruits with colored flowers and herbs. Praised be You, my Lord, through those who give pardon for love of You and bear infirmity and tribulation. Blessed are those who endure in peace for by You, Most High, they shall be crowned. Praised be You, my Lord, through our Sister Bodily Death, from whom no living man can escape. Woe to those who die in mortal sin! Blessed are those whom death will find in Your most holy will, for the second death shall do them no harm. Praise and bless my Lord and give Him thanks and serve Him with great humility.

3. St. John of the Cross: The Sayings of Light and Love, 27

Mine are the heavens and mine is the earth. Mine are the nations, the just are mine, and mine the sinners. The angels are mine, and the Mother of God, and all things are mine; and God himself is mine and for me, because Christ is mine and all for me. What do you ask, then, and seek, my soul? Yours is all of this, and all is for you. Do not engage yourself in something less or pay heed to the crumbs that fall from your Father’s table. Go forth and exult in your Glory! Hide yourself in it and rejoice and you will obtain the supplications of your heart.

When Bad Things Happen, Are You Prepared?

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Summary

Life marches on, but what if the proverbial “getting hit by a bus” actually happens? Is your family prepared if the worst case scenario would occur to you, or your wife? Or even worse, if you BOTH get “hit by the bus”?

Objective

We read about tragedies every day, but we don’t think about those things happening to us. Life doesn’t always turn out like you plan. Lots of things we take for granted all of a sudden need special attention. If life suddenly takes an unforeseen turn, are the most important things in your life going to be taken care of like you want? Who will pay the bills? Will my family be able to survive in a way I would want? What happens to my assets? If I am disabled, who will make health care decisions for me? Who will take care of my children???

Bible Readings

1. 2 Kings 20:1

In those days was Hezekiah sick unto death. And the prophet Isaiah the son of Amoz came to him, and said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Set thine house in order; for thou shalt die, and not live.

2. Isaiah 57:1-2

The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.

3. 1 Peter 5:2-3

Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers–not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.

4. 1 Timothy 6:17-19

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 1007

Death is the end of earthly life. Our lives are measured by time, in the course of which we change, grow old and, as with all living beings on earth, death seems like the normal end of life. That aspect of death lends urgency to our lives: remembering our mortality helps us realize that we have only a limited time in which to bring our lives to fulfillment:

2. Paragraph 1013

Death is the end of man’s earthly pilgrimage, of the time of grace and mercy which God offers him so as to work out his earthly life in keeping with the divine plan, and to decide his ultimate destiny. When “the single course of our earthly life” is completed, we shall not return to other earthly lives: “It is appointed for men to die once.” There is no “reincarnation” after death.

3. Paragraph 1014

The Church encourages us to prepare ourselves for the hour of our death. In the ancient litany of the saints, for instance, she has us pray: “From a sudden and unforeseen death, deliver us, O Lord”; to ask the Mother of God to intercede for us “at the hour of our death” in the Hail Mary; and to entrust ourselves to St. Joseph, the patron of a happy death.

Every action of yours, every thought, should be those of one who expects to die before the day is out. Death would have no great terrors for you if you had a quiet conscience. . . . Then why not keep clear of sin instead of running away from death? If you aren’t fit to face death today, it’s very unlikely you will be tomorrow. . .

Small Group Questions

1. Have you done any “end of life” planning? If so, what has been helpful to you?

2. Do you have a system for your key documents?

Recommended Resources

1. http://money.cnn.com/magazines/moneymag/money101/lesson21/index.htm

2. http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/12-simple-steps-estate-plan-29472.html

3. http://www.bankrate.com/finance/retirement/estate-planning-checklist-young-folks-1.aspx

4. http://getyourshittogether.org/

5. http://www.estateplanning.com/

Accountability

1. Talk with your wife about starting/updating your plans

2. Begin taking inventory of your key documents. Make a plan to have them available in case of emergency.

Author(s)

Steve Frazer

Included Resources

1. If tragedy strikes, are you financially prepared?
https://www.manilla.com/blog/if-tragedy-strikes-are-you-financially-prepared/

By Kimberly Rotter

The time for financial preparedness is now

If you were to lose your husband tomorrow, would you know how many credit cards he has in his wallet, and the telephone numbers to close the accounts? If your wife were to die next week, would you know where and how to log on and pay all of your bills? Could you do something as simple as access your loved one’s email or Facebook account to notify friends of the death?

None of us likes to think about the untimely death of someone we love, especially before we’re “old enough” to start thinking about dying. But it’s important to think about the necessary financial actions to take in the tragic event that something happens to your spouse or partner.

It could happen to any of us

Recent articles in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal illustrate the myriad of harsh realities a surviving spouse can encounter in the absence of careful planning.

One woman lost her husband to a heart attack at age 57. She found herself locked out of various online banking and bill paying accounts.

One man, whose wife paid all the bills prior to losing her battle to cancer, found out the hard way that removing his wife’s name from their bank account effectively closed the account and wiped out any bill-pay settings she had put into place.

Another woman, who lost her husband in a tragic bicycle accident, was faced with a sudden loss of income, lack of knowledge of the details and numbers of accounts her husband managed himself and no properly executed will.

Countless other survivors can testify to the difficulties and costs involved in transferring ownership of real estate, stocks, bonds and other assets – difficulties and costs that could have been avoided by taking simple steps before tragedy struck. And keep in mind that survivors face these challenges and costs while in the grip of overwhelming grief over the loss of their partners. This all comes at the worst possible time for life to burden you with such a heavy load.

What you can do now:

We all hope tragedy never strikes too near. But we will all die, and few of us have the luxury of knowing when we’ll go.

If you’re like most people, you don’t have a will. Approximately 57 percent of American adults don’t have one, according to a 2011 survey from market research group Harris Interactive. And if you’re in the dark about what bills get paid and when, you’re not alone. You don’t have to suddenly become the household bookkeeper if that’s not a role that you already fill. But you and your partner are well advised to set aside some time, in small chunks if necessary, to gather certain paperwork and information.

Add your spouse’s name to assets, including real estate, stocks, bonds and bank accounts

Across the board, financial advisers and surviving spouses advise that you put both names on all assets. The more you keep things separate in life, the more it will cost you after death – in probate costs or inheritance taxes, for example, as well as in time and effort.

Real estate that one person owns can easily be put into both names by filing a quitclaim deed (specifying joint tenancy with right of survivorship). This quick task is usually handled at the county real estate records office. You do not have to add your spouse’s name to the mortgage in order to add it to the deed.

List all online accounts and their passwords

Passwords are tricky. Security experts advise against using the same password on all sites, but multiple passwords of your own are hard enough to keep track of without adding another person’s passwords to the mix. Experts also advise against writing passwords down. But you need to devise a system for sharing this information, and you should update it at least twice a year. Find a safe place to store your list. Make a handwritten list and keep the paper in a safe. Or use an online file storage site that encrypts data. Try DropBox with Boxcryptor or SecureSafe (both options are free).

Take care of paperwork

If you have any assets, you need to have a will. You should also write a living will, expressing your desires with regard to life-sustaining measures in the event you are unable to communicate with doctors.

A Power of Attorney is a simple but critical document that designates your representative under a variety of conditions. It can be as broad or limited as you desire. Use one to give one person access to your bank accounts, and another to designate a guardian for your children (this can also be stipulated in your will).

Consider life insurance

Most of us dutifully make mortgage and car loan payments each month. Many of us continue to pay off student loan debt for ourselves or our children. Still others carry revolving credit card debt. Think about how much money it would take to pay everything off at once, and price out life insurance for at least that amount plus six months’ living expenses and extra money to cover costs related to the death (plot, casket, preparation for viewing, cremation, professional service fee, reception, etc.). In some cases, more coverage comes with lower premiums, due to policy popularity among purchasers.

Consider disability insurance

Long-term and short-term disability insurance can replace lost income when a family member survives an event or illness but cannot work (or cannot work as much).

Where to start

Plenty of information is out there to help you. In fact, one widow dedicated her hard-won experiences to creating a website that helps others avoid the financial nightmare she lived. Chanel Reynolds, the woman who lost her husband far too soon in a bicycle accident, created GetYourShitTogether.org, a website designed to help you get things in order. You’ll find sample documents, a checklist, and helpful links there.

You should consult an estate lawyer to help you craft and finalize your will, and a tax professional if you have significant assets. As Ms. Reynolds points out, if you can afford to take a family vacation this year, you can afford to get professional help on these simple but very important matters.

Now it’s up to you to get it together.

2. Guardianship for Your Children
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/guardianship-children-30227.html

Choose a personal guardian — someone to raise your children in the unlikely event you can’t.

If your children are young, you’ve probably thought about who would raise them if for some reason you or another parent couldn’t. It’s not an easy thing to consider, but with a simple arrangement of a guardian in your will, you can feel sure that, in the extremely unlikely event you can’t raise your kids, they will be well cared for.

Naming a Personal Guardian

You should name one personal guardian (and one alternate, in case your first choice can’t serve) for each of your children.

Legally, you may name more than one guardian, but it’s generally not a good idea because of the possibility that the coguardians will later disagree. On the other hand, if you prefer that two people care for your child — for example, a stable couple who would act as coparents — name both of them, so that they each have the legal power to make important decisions on behalf of your child.

Here are some factors to consider when choosing a personal guardian:

Is the prospective guardian old enough? (You must choose an adult — 18 years old in most states.)

Does the prospective guardian have a genuine concern for your children’s welfare?

Is the prospective guardian physically able to handle the job?

Does he or she have the time?

Does he or she have kids of an age close to that of your children?

Can you provide enough assets to raise the children? If not, can your prospective guardian afford to bring them up?

Does the prospective guardian share your moral beliefs?

Would your children have to move?

If you’re having a hard time choosing someone, take some time to talk with the person you’re considering. One or more of your candidates may not be willing or able to accept the responsibility, or their feelings about acting as guardian may help you decide.

Choosing Different Guardians for Different Children

Most people want their children to stay together; if you do, name the same personal guardian for all of your kids.

You can, however, name different personal guardians for different children. Some parents may do this if their children are not close in age or if they have strong attachments to different adults outside of the immediate family. For instance, one child may spend a lot of time with a grandparent while another child may be close to an aunt and uncle. Or, if you have children from different marriages, they may be close to different adults. In every situation, you want to choose the personal guardian you believe would be best able to care for each child.

Choosing a Different Person to Watch the Checkbook

Some parents name one person to be the children’s personal guardian and a different person to look after financial matters. Often this is because the person who would be the best surrogate parent would not be the best person to handle the money.

For example, you might feel that your brother-in-law would provide the most stable, loving home for your kids, but not have much faith in his abilities as a financial manager. Perhaps you have a close friend who cares about your kids and would be better at dealing with the economic aspects of bringing them up. Provided that your brother-in-law and your friend agree and you trust them to get along in the best interest of your children, you can name one as personal guardian and the other as custodian or trustee to manage your children’s inheritance. (See Nolo’s article Leaving an Inheritance for Children.)

If You and the Other Parent Can’t Agree

When you and your child’s other parent make your wills, you should name the same person as personal guardian. If you don’t agree on whom to name, there could be a court fight if both of you die while the child is still a minor. Faced with conflicting wishes, a judge would have to make a choice based on the evidence of what’s in the best interests of your child.

Writing a Letter of Explanation

Leaving a written explanation may be important if you think that a judge could have reason to question your choice for personal guardian.

Judges are required to act in the child’s best interests, so in your letter explain why your choice is best for your child. Here are some issues the judge will consider:

the child’s preference, to the extent it can be ascertained

who will provide the greatest stability and continuity of care

who will best meet the child’s needs

the relationships between the child and the adults being considered for guardian, and

the moral fitness and conduct of the proposed guardians.

If you are in the following situation, writing an explanatory letter may be a good idea:

If You Don’t Want the Other Parent to Raise Your Child

You may not trust your child’s other parent to care for your child if something happens to you. However, a judge will grant custody to a child’s surviving parent unless that parent has legally abandoned the child or is clearly unfit. In most cases, it is difficult to prove that a parent is unfit, unless he or she has serious problems such as chronic drug or alcohol abuse, mental illness, or a history of child abuse.

If you honestly believe the other parent is incapable of caring for your children properly, or simply won’t assume the responsibility, you should write a letter explaining why.

What Did My Dad Teach Me?

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Summary

We all have our own personal stories when it comes to words of wisdom we learned from our Dads. This topic will be a shared dialogue as we all contribute those stories that impacted our lives.

Objective

This will be an interactive topic for the group that allows each of us to give pause to reflect on those words of wisdom we garnered from our Fathers. How many of us are turning into our Fathers as we age?….more importantly how many of us are passing off those very same traits to our own children?…..& may not even realize it? Much of what we learn from our Fathers might not have come from a verbal exchange but rather is an inherited trait learned by osmosis such as a strong work ethic. Our objective will be to package the best advice to share among the Fathers that we can pass on to our children. For those of us whose Fathers are still living it’s never too late to seek out some Fatherly advice as we all know life is short…..embrace it!

Bible Readings

1. The Praise of the Father…. Matthew 11: 25-26

²⁵At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. ²⁶Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

2. Proverbs 13 :1,24

A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a mocker does not respond to rebukes.

Catechism Readings

1. 2221 The fecundity of conjugal love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children, but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation. “The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute.”²⁹ The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable.³⁰

Small Group Questions

1. Name one teaching example from today’s discussion you would like to pass on to your children this week.

2. Do you have a question you would still like to ask your Dad for today?

Recommended Resources

The Greatest Generation – By Tom Brokaw.

Author(s)

Bob Considine

Included Resources

Dealing with …
http://fatherhood.about.com/od/valuesandspirituality/a/teaching_values.htm

Help them learn to stay with hard things. We have a daughter that excels at the piano. She loves music and was excited about learning to play the piano, and we really didn’t even have to encourage her to practice much when she was learning. But when we saw that potential, we found a teacher who would really push her to achieve. There were certainly times she wanted to give up when she struggled with a particularly hard classical piece. But with our encouragement, she stuck with it and developed her playing to an entirely new level. I know that if we had just said, “Yes, honey, it is so hard. Maybe you could go back to the other teacher,” she would never have felt the joy of really excelling at something tough.

Celebrate right behavior. As fathers, we are often quick to correct and slow to praise our children. So, in teaching values, we should not only correct behavior not in alignment with our values, we must reward behavior that exemplifies fundamental values. So when your child is honest even when it is hard, tell them how proud you are of them. When he or she is courteous or respectful to you or others, let them know it. The old adage that “there is no substitute for a good compliment” is never truer than in child-raising.

Share your stories. Look for times to share your experiences in living your values. Sometimes, without naming names, I have shared stories from my workplace about people who made good or poor ethical decisions and the consequences of those choices. Children, particularly the older ones, appreciate seeing how values apply in the adult world. So share your own stories and those you experience from others and help them see the application of timeless values in life.

Helping children see the value of your values is a role every father should play. Your efforts at shaping the people they become will be worth it. And, as life develops for all of us, whatever our experience, later in life we often find ourselves coming back to the values we learned as children. So take the time to teach and exemplify the values you have chosen for your life and then by word and example, let your children know how to find happiness in life through the application of fundamental human values.

How Do You Make Your Spouse Feel Appreciated?

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Anthony Your

Summary

Whether it has been one year or fifty since your wedding, what are you doing to let the awesome person you married know that you appreciate them? Routine is a good thing, but making your wife feel special is a GREAT thing and everyone likes to feel appreciated. Get your creative juices flowing and demonstrate to your wife how special she is!

Objective

A majority of the problems that occur in a marriage can be attributed to the fact that one or both partners feel unappreciated. Boredom with the relationship, jealousy, nagging and a general sense of discontent are marriage relationship problems that find their roots in a sense of not being appreciated. Your goal as a husband is to realize this, then take action. Improve your marriage relationship “by doing” and let your wife know she is appreciated by you.

Bible Readings

1. Ephesians 5:25-30

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

2. Colossians 3:19

Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 1639

The consent by which the spouses mutually give and receive one another is sealed by God himself. From their covenant arises “an institution, confirmed by the divine law, . . . even in the eyes of society.” The covenant between the spouses is integrated into God’s covenant with man: “Authentic married love is caught up into divine love.”

Small Group Questions

1. What is something unique that you have done that made your spouse feel appreciated?

2. What are the root causes that may make your wife to feel unappreciated by you?

3. What will you do in the next week to show your wife she is appreciated by you?

Recommended Resources

1. 10 Ways to Love Your Spouse http://www.simplecatholicliving.com/reflections/10-ways-to-love-your-spouse

2. Do You Tell Your Wife That You Appreciate Her? http://respectedhusband.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/do-you-tell-your-wife-that-you-appreciate-her/

Accountability

1. Do one thing for your wife this week that she will be able to tell her friends about that you have never done before. Complement her in front of others!

2. Investigate and search fun things going on in town and recommend that the two of you need to make a plan to attend or participate.

3. Secretly do a chore around the house you have never done and see if anyone notices.

Author(s)

Reid Rooney

Included Resources

1. The 5 Step Secret to making your wife Feel Appreciated

Step 1 Understanding: Although you cannot make anyone 100% happy, you can do your part in making your wife feel special and appreciated. The wife (like the husband) has a unique and key role in the marital partnership. If she feels abandoned, neglected, or otherwise unappreciated it will be difficult for her to maintain that positive ambiance.

Step 2 Show Direct Appreciation: Women need the small things that may be easily overlooked. A phone call in the middle of the day for no reason; fresh flower arrangements; date night; unexpected tokens of affection, etc. Keep note of her interests and use them to personalize your surprises i.e. if she’s dieting do not get her chocolates.

Step 3 Acknowledgement: You may not understand her emotional needs but you definitely need to acknowledge them. Take the time to actively listen to her. Be the initiator of conversations. Be nonjudgmental with your opinions.

Step 4 Pick your Battles: Let the small things pass. Arguing or a domineering attitude will only fester and eventually poison the love you share. If it irritates you that she isn’t the best housekeeper, try to hire help or help clean up when you have time. Remember that you are not perfect either. Was it her laugh you fell in love with or her clean kitchen?

Step 5 Tell her you love her everyday. Tell others you love her. Hearing it and saying it will keep the love alive. Love is a chain reaction. The more love you give the more love you receive.

2. Other ideas to show direct Appreciation to your wife:

Acts of service.

Doing something special for your wife is an easy and free way to show your appreciation. A foot rub after a long day of work would be greatly appreciated. Use some scented lotion for a bit of aromatherapy as well. Clean the house! Coming home to a messy house can be very stressful. If you are home during the day on a weekend, keeping the house clean shows your appreciation for the hard work your wife does.

Making your spouse’s favorite meal or dessert on an ordinary day is a terrific way to make her feel special, especially if you don’t make it very often. Or make something new for dinner to try together; the same old things can get boring after a while.

Whatever your spouse’s job around the house is, give her a day off. Who wouldn’t feel special and enjoy not having to do a chore? Folding the laundry, doing the dishes for once and let your spouse enjoy a little well-deserved rest.

Offer a massage. Don’t do it because you want one in return. Don’t wait until your wife asks. Just offer one to show that you really enjoy the act of touching the person that you’re in a love with.

Treats and Surprises.

A simple and inexpensive way to surprise your wife with a treat is to pick up her favorite treats at the grocery store. Then you can sneak them into a her purse or computer bag for your wife to find and enjoy at work or out running errands. Or leave a treat on the pillow or nightstand, or in a coat pocket.

Leave your spouse alone to do a hobby, with no strings attached. She is probably tired of hearing you complain when she is watching TV while the laundry is not done. Let her have a night off to do her own thing, and don’t be looking over her shoulder. Or your wife might enjoy a night out

Show your appreciation.

If your spouse works hard at a job, thank her for working hard for you and your family. A simple thank you can mean a lot. Send an “I love you” text message, or leave a message on your spouse’s voicemail. If your spouse travels out of town on business, write love notes and hide them in the luggage. Put one in her purse, in reading materials, tucked in a shoe etc. You could even have the kids write notes, or draw pictures so your wife will know how much she will be missed by you and your family. Hiding love notes around the house works just as well.

Say thank you.

It turns out that it’s the little things that count. Mom and Dad probably taught you that you’re supposed to say thanks when someone does something nice for you but you may have picked up their bad habits of failing to say it to one another. Don’t take anything that your wife does for you for granted.

Create an appreciation scrapbook.

Take the time to sit down and put together a list of all of the things that you appreciate about your wife. Go through magazines and find images that go along with each item. Use these images to create pages for a scrapbook that depicts the things that you appreciate. Your wife will appreciate this gift for a long time.

Try to notice the small things.

The small haircut that she got on the way home from the store or the new seasoning that was used on a meal are all really small things but noticing them goes a long way towards making your wife feel like you’re actually paying attention and appreciating what you’ve got.

Do things that your wife likes.

When figuring out what you want to do over the weekend, consider trying things that you don’t love but you know your wife really enjoys. It won’t kill you to sit through a chick flick and it will make your wife feel appreciated.

The Husband does not feel appreciated by his wife.

In some cases, the husband may often wish that his wife would do things to show us that we are appreciated. Try to think in the reverse instead; make an effort to show your wife that you’re appreciative of the marriage. This will improve things drastically and probably produce the results that you as a husband are looking for.